


The Cello's Song

by Aheichou



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Death, F/F, F/M, M/M, Pain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-02-08 13:49:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1943538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aheichou/pseuds/Aheichou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Levi returns to Shignashina from his trip overseas and finds his long-distance relationship with his girlfriend, Petra, was unfaithful, he feels his world crumbling away. In his anguish, he stumbles upon the cemetery, where a cellist is playing beautiful music. Him and his newly formed friend, Hangi, are now on a mission to find the mysterious cellist's identity. And what will happen when they do?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi you guys! This is my first SnK Fanfiction! I would really appreciate it if you read this! Feel free to give me advice and correct my grammatical errors or any other mistakes! Thank you and enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> A song that describes this chapter perfectly is a Franklin by Paramore, so you should check that out ^-^  
> Enjoy~

I didn't know what to expect when I came back to Shiganshina.

I guess I expected everything to be how I left it: a sleepy, small town without many happenings.

I didn't know what I was expecting when I walked inside Petra's house.

Maybe a greeting?

Maybe a hug?

I had just gotten back from my business overseas and I wanted to surprise her. We had been trying to keep a long-distance relationship and I thought we had done a good job. I knew most long-distance relationships never worked out, but I had thought that we had proven everybody wrong.

But boy, was I wrong.

I had knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer it once I arrived. I had come straight from the airport, and I was tired and just wanted to see my girlfriend. When nobody answered I tried opening the door. I knew she was home; she had to be, her car was in the driveway.

The door was unlocked and I waltzed right in, I used to practically live there. Petra's dad adored me and I was always welcome. The living room had been dark and I could tell that all of the lights had been turned off in the house. I had closed the door behind me softly, as if I was trying not to disturb someone. I could see one faint light from upstairs and I knew it had to be Petra's room. I had walked up the stairs quietly and quickly; I really wanted to surprise her. I had slowly walked down the hallway, aware of the quietness coming from her room.

A bad feeling had developed in my stomach; I knew something had to be wrong.

I stood outside her door and opened it, not prepared for the sight I would see.

Petra was inside the room alright, but she wasn't alone.

Petra was kissing one of my good friends; Auruo on the bed.

My heart shattered and I knew that I had been deceived.

Once Petra noticed I was standing in the doorway, I turned away and ran down the stairs. I didn't want to be there anymore; I didn't want to continue watching the girl I loved and my friend kiss. I heard Petra call my name, but I didn't turn around.

I ran out of the house with tears running down my face. I picked up my suitcase from where I had left it on the porch and continued to run. I had instructed the taxi driver to drop me off in front of Petra's house so I didn't have any means of transportation. I

didn't know where I was going, I was running with no means of going home.

I just had to run to get away; to run away from my anguish.

My world had come crumbling down the moment I stepped back inside Shiganshina; I couldn't believe it.

This had to be a joke of some sort.

I ran and I ran, trying to get rid of the image that would be burned in my memory. I couldn't take it anymore and I collapsed on the sidewalk.

Then suddenly music ripped through the night. Music was coming from the cemetery, and for a moment my tears stopped. The music wasn't that hip hop crap or the heavy rock stuff I was used to. It was a song, the melody sounding familiar but I didn't remember where it came from. It was beautiful and I was attracted to the sound.

My feet were walking into the cemetery before I could understand what was happening; they moved as if somebody else was controlling them.

And now that I think about it, it was as if fate drew me to walk into the cemetery.

It was dusk and the sky was a bright pink and orange. I felt like fate was mocking me, making the sky so beautiful despite what had just happened. I walked deeper into the cemetery, my feet leading me to the source of the music.

There, against the beautiful sky I saw the person playing the music. The person's back was facing me, and by the haircut I could tell it was a guy. I recognized the instrument the person cradled in between his knees as a cello. What beautiful music it was, but it didn't deserve to be played in a graveyard. It deserved to be played on a stage, where everybody could hear it and praise the person who played it. I wondered why the boy was playing it here when the music suddenly stopped.

I noticed the boy get up and I quickly ran from the cemetery before he could notice I was listening. I ran for a while around the neighborhood until I decided to go back to my place.

I lived in an apartment complex near the high school I was attending from tomorrow on out. I lived on the second floor and by myself. I fished the key out of my pocket and stuck it in the lock. I had just rented before my parents and I left overseas. I still paid the rent for it because I didn't want to give it up; I knew I was coming back anyways. As soon as I was in I collapsed on my neatly made bed. I turned on my back and put my hands behind my back and tried not to think about Auruo and Petra. Instead I thought about the high school I had to come back to, _Shiganshina High_. I had left in the middle of my junior year and now I was supposed to be a senior. I remembered that it was the middle of the semester and I had a lot of catching up to do.

Shit.

A tear simultaneously dripped out of my eye and my mind drifted back to Petra and Auruo.

I felt sobs wrack my body and I punched my pillow.

I trusted them and they stabbed me in the back.

Would this wound ever heal?

I should have known long-distance relationships never worked; we should've broken up before I left.

I reached over my bed to set the alarm clock on my nightstand to wake me at 7:30 tomorrow morning.

I hated waking up early, but I had a lot of shit to do.

I had to fish my dusty backpack out of the closet and fill it with the supplies I needed that I bought overseas before I left.

I had to go to the office and get my schedule for the year; the secretary's computer is slow as heck so I would probably be there for like 10 minutes waiting for the computer to send the information to the printer.

I was too depressed and too lazy to get up and unpack my suitcase for my pajamas.

I fell asleep in my clothes, with tears drying on my cheeks.

X X X

"Okay, Levi, do you know where your home room is?" The secretary asked.

Her voice was too cheerful and perky and it annoyed me.

"Yes." I answered.

"Okay, the bell will be ringing in a bit so hurry along." She said.

I left the office after taking forever just trying to print the dang schedule. In a few seconds I had already gotten my schedule memorized. Stares and whispered captivated my attention as I walked down the busy hallways. I scowled and tried not to act like my heart had been broken yesterday. I walked to my home room, which was English and sighed as I walked into the classroom. A lot of annoying people were in my class and I knew I would have to restrain myself from beating the shit out of people. I walked to the front of the classroom to the teacher's desk and showed her my schedule. She instructed me to sit at an empty desk near the corner and I obliged. People whispered and stared as I walked down the aisle of seats and I scowled. I sat down at my desk and slung my backpack over the seat just as the bell rang. I rolled my eyes as I prepared for the disastrous day to begin.

"Okay class, as you may have noticed, we have obtained a new student in our class today." She glanced at me and smiled.

The whole class turned in their seats to peer at me. I narrowed my eyes and some students turned away immediately as they met my gaze. Scared brats.

"Why don't you introduce yourself?" The teacher asked.

I knew this was a statement so I didn't have a choice in the matter whether or not I wanted the class to know who I was. They already knew me from the previous years when I did attend school here so I don't get why everybody was making a big deal out of it. I rose from my seat and I took a deep breath.

"The name's Rivaille, Levi Rivaille." I sat back down without any further explanation.

The teacher looked disappointed at my "introduction" but she smiled at me nonetheless. It was such a fake smile, she was fake altogether. The first half of the day went by kind of the same: teachers asking me to introduce myself, my classmates staring and whispering. My tolerance level for these idiots was very low and I had to actually clench my fists under my desk to keep myself from swinging at a kid. Then came lunch, which I dreaded. I hated being in the same room with the whole grade eating, it was horrible. I usually sat at one of the small round tables near the doors, so I could make a quick escape to leave the place whenever I felt like it. I never sat near at large lunch tables, they usually belonged to the popular kids because every seat was occupied by a friend of theirs. There was a lot of chairs at my table, though they weren't occupied by anyone. I usually sat with Petra and Auruo at my table, but after what happened yesterday, I don't think I can even look at them. I had seen them in the hallways and I always adverted my gaze to the ceiling, the floor, the wall, or the person in front of me's butt. I took a tray and picked what seemed like the most edible substances and paid for my lunch. I made my way over to my table and sat down. I was in the middle of munching an apple when somebody sat in the seat in front of me.

I looked up and furrowed my eyebrows. "Why the fuck are you sitting here?" I scowled. The girl had glasses and brown hair that was swept into a high ponytail except for bangs on either side of her face.

"Why are you sitting here?" She asked instead.

I rolled my eyes. "I asked you first."

She smiled. "I usually sit here, but I saw you looked lonely." I almost laughed out loud. "I'm never lonely." I lied. Sure I was never lonely. I was actually very lonely because I just glanced at the popular table to see Petra and Auruo laughing with a kid that used to bully me when I was younger. I remembered the good memories that we had at this table. I ran my hand across the table, smiling.

"What's your name?" She asked, taking me away from memories.

"Why do you want to know?" I snapped.

"I just do!" She replied.

"Levi Rivaille." I answered as I took another bite from my apple.

The girl pointed at herself. "My name is Hangi Zoe."

"What kind of name is Hangi?" I spat.

"What kind of last name is Rivaille?" She retorted.

I narrowed my eyes and grunted.

"I'm into science!" Hangi suddenly exclaimed.

"I don't care." I mumbled.

"Science is great! I especially love to-" She shot a glance at me and her eyes gleamed. " _dissect things_."

"Okay you're insane." I murmured.

"I'm not insane! I was tested last year!" Hangi banged her fist on the table.

"A lot can happen in a year." Like two of the people you trusted the most could secretly date.

"Do you like science?" Hangi folded her hands and rested her chin upon them.

She took a sip of her milk.

"No." I answered. Hangi choked on the milk and spat on me.

I was drenched with chocolate milk and was extremely annoyed. I reached for a napkin and wiped my face.

"How can you not like science! Science is wonderful! There is an answer for everything! The anatomy of a human is very interesting! It's so w-" Hangi rambled.

I rolled my eyes and got up to throw my trash away. She was still talking when I came back. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Hangi?" I interrupted.

"Yes?" She asked with a gleam in her eyes.

"Shut up." I said.

The bell rang and I got up to escape from her. The rest of the day went by smoothly and as soon as the bell rang I was out the classroom door. I had to go to my locker to drop off stuff so I couldn't leave right away. I found my locker and entered the combination I opened it and started piling notebooks and textbooks into it. I was suddenly interrupted when somebody draped their arm across my shoulders. I looked up to see Hangi with a smile on my face.

"Fuck off." I said.

She placed her hands on her hips. "Well that's not very nice!"

"I'm not very nice." I finished stashing away my supplies and closed my locker.

"So where are you going?" She asked. I slung my backpack across my shoulder and started walking away.

"Home."

She jumped up and down next to me."Where?!"

I glared at her.

"Are you trying to stalk me or something?"

She placed her hands on my shoulders. "Nope!"

I brushed her hands away. "Then can you please go away."

Hangi groaned. "Fine you grouch."

I walked home without any further delay.

XXX

It's been a week now and I still have not managed to get rid of Hangi. She's been sitting with me at lunch every day now and I can literally feel myself getting an aneurysm every time she opens her mouth.

I've actually noticed Petra looking over at us during lunch. I always make sure to avoid her gaze and I can see that she's jealous. But she doesn't how much I'd rather have her over this science freak.

I've been missing her daily, and I can't seem to get her out of my head.

She seems to be everywhere and nowhere. I wish that I could have at least held her in my arms one last time. I wish that she explained herself, that maybe it was a misunderstanding.

I fall asleep every night crying, and I wish I wasn't so weak.

I thought I was stronger than this.

I _had_ to be stronger than this.

But I can't seem to lift that burden off my shoulders.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for reading! It makes me so happy! Please, feel free to give me advice on what to do with this Fanfiction and correct my grammatical errors or any other mistakes! I have a few more chapters of this story on my Wattpad! My username is: AheichouA so go and read what I have so far! I'll try to update this story as much as I can! Thank you guys so much and enjoy! ^_^

I woke up to the ringing of my cellphone. I immediately got into a bad mood; it was a Saturday, who the hell would call me at 7:00 in the morning?! I had left my cell phone on my night stand last night, so all I had to do was reach for it, but I was still upset.

"Hello?" I answered groggily.

"Hello, Levi it's been a while."

When I heard the voice my eyes widened and every ounce sleepiness washed away.

"Mr. Smith?" I heard a chuckle on the other line.

"It is I. So can I assume that you're back from France?" I nodded my head then realized he couldn't see me.

"Yes, you can assume that." I said.

"Great! Well I wanted to see if you wanted to come back to work." He said, finally getting the point in the phone call.

"Sure, when?" I asked.

"Can you come in an hour or so? We've been getting a lot of customers lately." He said.

"Sure, I'll be right there."

We exchanged our goodbyes and I sprung up from the bed. I quickly got showered and changed. Mr. Smith owned a bookstore downtown and before I left overseas, I used to work there. I wasn't excited to get to work, no, I just liked escaping in the aisles of bookshelves and getting lost in my thoughts. It was always peaceful there, and I enjoyed visiting. I honestly haven't thought about the bookstore since I've come back to Shinganshina.

I made my way over to the bookstore and observed it from the outside. It doesn't seem to have changed one bit, like everything else in this small town. It's brick outside still read the title: _Shiganshina's Finest Bookstore_. It was only called that because there was only one bookstore here.

I opened the door and inhaled the delightful scent of the store. It always smelled like cinnamon and paper, it sounds like an unusual scent, but I love it.

"Levi!" I felt a hand clamp my shoulder as I looked around. I turned around to see Mr. Smith, a smile dancing on his lips.

"I just got your apron from the staff room, put it on and you can go stock the shelves." Mr. Smith handed me a cloth green apron with my name on it.

I always found it unusual that the employees wore aprons, even though we weren't serving food. I headed towards the storage room where I found boxes and boxes of books. Mr. Smith suddenly appeared behind me and told me that they had gotten a lot of orders of books.

"Oh and Levi?" I turned around.

"Yes sir?" Unsurprisingly, Mr. Smith is actually the only adult I have some sort respect for.

"I'll be leaving, take care of the store. There is someone else working the cash register so you're not alone. Some more people will be coming in so you can leave at noon."

I nodded and I watched him leave.

I hadn't noticed the person working at the cash register, and I never really paid attention to the person who usually did so I didn't really care. I lifted a box of romance novels and walked over to the bookshelves labeled ROMANCE.

Another thing I loved about the bookstore was that the bookshelves was full of so many books that they were ladders so people could actually reach books. The bookstore was also very roomy in between aisles, so I had no trouble maneuvering the box and climbing the ladder to stock up the shelves. My legs and arms always ached after I spent a day stocking the shelves. I always had to climb up and down ladders, carry heavy boxes, and there was always few employees around so we each had to do a lot of work.

I was glad that in had the job of stocking the shelves, because there a job as a surveyor. They would go around town and survey people on what types of books they would like the bookstore to provide. I hated being social with people, especially people who don't know their genre of books. I'd rather just stay inside the bookstore and stock then go and communicate with people.

I don't really like reading,but I like bookstores for some weird reason. I finished stocking the romance section and climbed down the ladder. I walked back to the storage room and rifled through the boxes, to see if there were anymore romance novels that needed to be stocked.

I continued to stock the shelves, going back and forth between the storage room and the shelves. My shift finally finished at noon and I hung my apron on the rack in the staff room. I was about to leave the room when my eyes caught a familiar name on one of the aprons.

"Shit." I mumbled.

I had to leave befo-

My thought was interrupted with a "Levi!!!"

I turned around and groaned. Too late. Hangi stood in the doorway with an ecstatic smile.

"I didn't know you worked here!!" She exclaimed.

"Well I do." I grumbled.

I pushed past her and left the staff room. I left the bookstore and was aware of Hangi chasing me.

I sighed and ran. "Levi!!!" She called.

"Don't you have work to do?!" I yelled.

"Yes." She answered.

I continued to run and she continued to chase me. I ran by the cemetery, trying to hopefully lose her.

The night I had listened to the music, I hadn't noticed that night how beautiful the cemetery was. Fall had come and the trees' leaves in the cemetery were scattered on the ground. They covered the gravestones in a blanket of orange, gold, red, and yellow. I liked the beautiful spectacle but that's when I heard the music.

I immediately stopped running and Hangi bumped into me.

"Why did you stop?" She asked.

"The music." I said quietly.

Her face lit up. "You like it?! Wow I never knew you were capable of liking things!!!"

I shot her a look and we stood there in silence.

I recognized the music playing as the same piece that the person was playing last time.

"It's beautiful." I whispered.

Hangi smiled and stared into space.

There was silence as the notes continued to vibrate the air.

The she suddenly said "I'm glad you're my friend Levi."

I looked at her and she smiled.

"I've never had a friend before. People usually think I'm weird." She mumbled.

I never thought that people actually put her down like I did.

"You are weird." I smiled.

Hangi jumped up and down and covered her mouth.

"What?" I asked.

"You smiled!!" She yelled.

My face immediately drooped.

She enveloped me into a hug and I tried to push away but she had a strong grip.

"You should smile more often Levi. You looked....cute." She said.

I flushed and she let me go.

She went back to the bookstore and I stood alone.

A breeze picked up, carrying the music louder to me. Leaves flew from the ground, creating a whirlpool of color. A leave landed at the toe of my shoe and I stared at it. Things were changing here in Shinganshina, but was it a change for the better or worse? XXX

I had loosened up to Hangi a little bit after what she told me at the cemetery. It almost made me pity her, but then I remember how much I hated pity. I used to receive a lot of pity when I was younger and I remembered how much I despised it.

The Monday after our encounter at the cemetery at lunch Hangi asked me something surprising : "Levi, don't you want to find out who the person playing the music at the cemetery was?" I almost choked on my milk.

"Why would I?" I asked.

"Because that person was really good? Hasn't it occurred to you that that person might go to our school?" Hangi asked.

"No." It was true; I hadn't.

But now that she brought it up, maybe I was curious about who that person was. I thought this while staring at what looked like a blood stain on the floor.

"I actually kind of saw the person playing the cello." I confessed.

"Really?!" Hangi exclaimed.

I nodded. "It was a guy. He didn't look too old. Maybe a freshman?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Did you see his face?"

"No, I saw his back though."

Hangi suddenly leapt from the table with her finger in the air.

"What color was his hair? How was it cut?"

"Um...it was brown and it was longish but not too long. Do you think you can find out by that little information?" I asked.

"I am determined!" Hangi said.

This was Hangi, I quickly learned in these few weeks I had spent with her that whenever she set her mind to something, she always succeeded. I had no doubt that we would find out who this cellist was. And our search for the person who played the cello at the cemetery began.

XXX

_Alex_

I woke up Monday morning to the sound of my Grandma talking to herself again. I was afraid that she was losing her marbles. It made me afraid, that I would lose someone from my life again.

Last night I had fallen asleep with my textbook on my face. I peeled the book off my face and saw that I had gotten drool on it.

Whoops.

I got up and glanced at myself in the full length mirror in the corner of my room. My short brown hair was disheveled and I had dark circles under my eyes. I got up and took a quick shower in my attached bathroom.

Before I got dressed I took the necessary precautions and wrapped the usual bandage across my chest. I then got dressed and quickly shoved my English textbook in my backpack. I ran out of my room with my backpack and cello in tow.

I entered the kitchen to grab a granola bar from the cupboard and walked into my grandma's bedroom.

She was laying in her bed, mumbling to herself yet again.

"Goodbye Gram." I kissed her forehead and was about leave her bedside when she clutched my arm.

"Celeste?" She whispered.

I flinched at the sound of my mother's name.

"I'm not Celeste." I said closing my eyes.

She let go and I quickly walked to school with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was seriously worried. She kept confusing me with my mother, who died a year ago.

I walked to school every morning, but when I moved her my grandma had insisted on picking me up from school. I'm still glad that she hadn't forgotten.

The English test I had been studying for was going to be the hardest one this year, with an exception of the final. It was bad enough that my English class was the first thing in the morning.

As I entered the campus, I dropped my cello off in the orchestra room and headed to my English class. I felt determination swell in my chest;I was going to pass this test no matter what.

XXX

"Alex, you don't have to take that test so seriously." Eren rolled his eyes.

"Yes she does, and so should you Eren." Armin said.

"It's just English. We speak the godamn language everyday." Eren said

 "I'm just worried, that's all." I said.

I had taken the English test and found that it was challenging.

Now I was eager and nervous to find out what I scored on it. It was lunch and we were sitting at our usual table near the doors of the cafeteria. We had all bought lunch, but none of us were eating that inedible shit.

I had moved to Shiganshina in the middle of last year's school year. I had been surprised to have made friends so easily, but I guess it was because nobody questioned why I moved.

I wonder what it's like back home right now...

"Hey Mikasa, " I snapped out of my daydream and looked up to see Jean Kirschtein sliding in the seat next to Mikasa.

He took a glance at the rest of the table's occupants and narrowed his eyes "and assholes."

"Well hello to you too, Horse Face." I scowled.

Jean glared at me and went back to smiling at a Mikasa.

It was so sad how he couldn't seem to leave her alone, like a puppy always fooling his master. He was unconditionally in love with her and it annoyed Eren to his very core.

Jean wrapped his arm around Mikasa's shoulders but she pushed him away with a cold, "Stop it Jean."

She didn't like him back, but he couldn't take a hint.

A heavy silence surrounded the table and I was suffocating in it. Jean just made everything awkward and I hated him.

Jean started to play with a lock of Mikasa's hair and Eren slammed the table with his fist and made all of the lunch trays jump.

Armin placed a hand on Eren's arm and I remembered the time when I thought they had been dating. Armin had actually blushed but Eren had been outright disgusted. I'm pretty sure Armin has some hidden feelings but Eren is oblivious to it.

Eren doesn't like Jean sexually harassing his adopted sister and I could see where his rage was coming from.

"You wanna go?!" Eren yelled.

"Eren..." Mikasa said, her voice rising.

Jean jumped from his seat with his fists clenched. Eren followed suit, knocking the chair over.

This usually happens when Jean is doing something to Mikasa and Eren would try beating Jean up and Mikasa would get mad at Eren for trying to protect her because she was "perfectly capable of taking care of Jean" and blah blah.

The thing was..they actually never hurt each other. Mikasa and Armin would always calm Eren down before he actually hurt Jean, or vice versa.

But now I watched as Jean swung his fist at Eren in the middle of the cafeteria.

It's not as if I didn't expect them to actually fight in the middle of lunch, but it was actually surprising considering it wasn't a lot to set them off.

As Jean's fist connected with Eren's jaw, I rose from my seat. I couldn't stand watching people fight, it just irritated me. Especially when they weren't trained to fight properly. 

I got in between them and pushed them away from each other.

"Stop it!" I yelled.

"Alex just get out of the way!" Eren yelled back, clutching his jaw.

Jean flew at Eren and swung again, but I pushed Eren out of the way.

Jean's fist hit my eye and I heard Armin yell.

I fell to the floor and pain webbed my vision.

I clutched my eye and I immediately knew that I would have a black eye. I tried getting back up, but I just fell back on my knees.

"Jean stay away from Eren!" I yelled.

Jean knocked Eren to the ground and they started wrestling each other, pushing each other and getting on top of each other.

I succeeded in getting up and quickly pulling Jean from the back of his shirt off Eren.

"Stop it!" I yelled again.

"Why don't you stop just interfering asshole!" Jean yelled back.

Jean swung his fist at me again and it connected with my nose.

I fell to the ground again, blood gushing from my nose.

The blood dripped onto my shirt and pants and Armin knelt besides me with a handful of napkins. He helped me sit up and wipe the blood from my face. May God bless Armin's soul. He always tried to help people in need, and this made me respect the short blonde kid even more. Armin helped me tip my nose to stop the bleeding, but it wasn't stopping. The blood on the napkin was spreading and I was beginning to feel panicked.

I was aware of the whole 10th grade student body watching the spectacle and I quickly felt blood rise to my cheeks.I hated attention, it just got me flustered.

And that's when the principal came in and dragged Jean, Eren, and I to the office.

The nurse helped me with my nose and I ended having to bandage it. My face was pretty bruised, but not as bruised as Eren's. Jean had done us a good number.

I was irritated because I was being suspended for a day along with Eren. Jean wasn't being suspended at all; his parents were really friendly with the principal and he couldn't believe that he started the fight. Obviously us low class citizens are always the source of trouble. We had spent at least the last remaining periods in the principal's office trying to "sort the problem out" and calling our parents.

This amused me because I had given the school my grandma's number, knowing she never answered the phone because it was in the kitchen and she couldn't leave the bedroom. We were finished when the last bell had rung. I was even more irritated as I left the office. Armin and Mikasa had the stuff Eren and I had left behind at the table, and I wasn't surprised to find it in my locker. Armin and Mikasa had mysterious ways.

I slung my backpack over my shoulder and was heading to the orchestra room when I noticed somebody. It was a boy, and he was flawless. That was the only way I could describe him. His skin was the color of cream and his eyes were narrow and slanted. His eyebrows were furrowed together and he was frowning, but that didn't stop him from being beautiful.

His black hair was cut in an undercut and his bangs barely met the edge of his eyes. He was clad in black, and he was definitely the best looking boy I've seen. I haven't seen him around before; I definitely would have noticed him. Was he new?

I sighed and shook my head. I should just get him out of my head before I create an obsession. Besides, I shouldn't be thinking about guys right now. There are way more important matters I have to think about.

I made my way into the orchestra room and got my cello. It was a bummer that I didn't attend class today, we were going to play my favorite piece today.

I went outside and found that my grandma had been waiting for me. Her shabby Malibu was easy to recognize; it was the only one in town after all.

I made my way across the school's courtyard, aware of the laughs I was getting. A can of soda bounced of my shoulder and spilled its contents onto my shirt. I sighed and made a mental note to wash this shirt when I got home.

I reached the car and opened the passenger's side door. I slid my cello into the seat and climbed in the backseat. This just earned me more laughs.

I hated it when people judged me even before they knew why I was here.

My grandma began driving without a word.

I decided to create a conversation, maybe she remembered that I was her granddaughter. I was also hoping she wouldn't noticed my bruised and bandaged face. She didn't.

"Hey grandma, so how was your day?" I asked.

"Celeste....where am I?" She asked quietly.

"You're driving a car with your granddaughter." I answered, hoping she didn't hear the pain in my voice.

"Celeste, you're not my granddaughter. You're my daughter." She said.

I sighed.

She parked the car in our driveway and I got out of the car.I grabbed my cello out of the passenger's seat and opened the front door to our house. I made a beeline to my bedroom and dropped my backpack and cello off. I watched as my grandma climbed into bed.

I hated looking at her, watching the life drain out of her slowly.

I didn't want to witness another family member of mine die.

First I undressed and threw my soiled shirt and pants in the hamper. I would have to try and get the blood stains out later. I went into the kitchen and began to prepare soup. It was the only thing the old lady could eat, so I of course had to eat it too. I finished making the soup and served two bowls of it. I entered the bedroom with the tray and bowl of soup.

"Grandma! I got your dinner." She moaned and I set the tray up.

I set the bowl on top of the tray. I propped my grandma against the pillows and helped her eat it. She tried to maneuver the soup into the spoon but failed to bring it her mouth. The soup spilled on her blankets and I made a mental note to wash the blanket.

"It's okay Grandma." I took the spoon from her and fed her the rest of the soup.

After her dinner she fell asleep. I turned off her bedroom's light and closed the door quietly so I wouldn't disturb her. I went back into the kitchen and reheated my soup. Usually she was able to eat by herself, but she's been so shaky lately and I've had to feed her myself.

I ate my bowl of soup quickly and went back into my bedroom. I flopped on my bed. I would have to take care of her all day tomorrow and I felt guilty about not wanting to. My cellphone rang at that moment. I groaned and reached into my pocket where I had felt the vibrating.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hey, it's Eren."

"Oh." My voice dropped.

I wasn't upset at him, but I was irked that he had gotten into that fight.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I had to drag you into that, during lunch." He apologized.

"Eh, it's fine, I guess. I just hate for you to get into fights." I said.

"You couldn't have imagined how many fights I've been in before you came along." He laughed.

I groaned and rolled my eyes. If I had known his sooner I'm pretty sure I would've come home with a lot more bruises and bloody noses.

"Hey, so tomorrow since we're suspended, do you want to come over and play video games? Mikasa's staying since she doesn't want to go to school without me. And I think I've managed to get Armin to come, too." Armin was going to skip class? Wow, I never would have imagined it.

I shut my eyes and bit my lip.

If I went to Eren's house then that meant I would have to leave my grandma alone. But I always leave her alone....

"Yeah, sure. I'll be there." I said.

"Okay, 8:00? The time school starts and ends then." He said.

We hung up and I left my phone laying on my chest.

Why was I feeling guilty about leaving my grandma alone? I leave her alone to go to school all the time. What's the difference? I got up and placed my phone on the nightstand and turned the light off in my bedroom. I knew it was about 6:00 in the afternoon but I was bored and was definitely not going to do homework. I lay in my bed for a few moments, then my guilty mind slowly drifted away.


	3. Chapter 3

 XXX

_Monday afternoon_

Hangi and I had made it our first priority to find who was playing the cello at the cemetery. We decided to wait in the student pick-up area, because we knew the kid wouldn't have a car.

"Look around Levi," Hangi pointed at all of the clustered students in the courtyard, "Do you see anybody who resembles the cellist?"

My eyes scanned the courtyard and I shook my head.

Hangi grunted. "Maybe he walks home?"

I continued to look at the faces and back of the kids.

Hangi's eyes suddenly brightened. "Maybe he's carrying his cello!"

"Yeah." I scanned the area and found a few kids carrying cellos, but their hairstyles didn't match, or they were too tall or short.

"Maybe the kid plays secretly and is not apart of the orchestra." Hangi suggested.

"Or maybe he just doesn't come to this damn school!" I scowled.

The effort to find this person made me irritated; if it was going to be this hard then why should we even try? I closed my eyes and leaned against the brick wall. We were loitering near the doors of the school behind a bushHangi wanted to act like secret agents or something, but I didn't have the heart to tell her this was the spot where most couples come to make out after school.

"Ooh Levi!!!" Hangi clung to my arm and shook it up and down.

"Is it him?!" I opened my eyes and they widened.

A boy around my height had just left the school carrying a cello. He had long dark brown hair that covered his eyebrows and light eyes; I couldn't tell what color they were from this angle. He had a black eye and his face was bruised. He had a bandage covering his nose and bloodstains on his shirt and pants. I remembered the bloodstain on the floor next to Hangi and I's table. I could hear the laughter from kids as he walked across the courtyard to the car parked by the curb. I saw another kid throw a can of soda at the boy. It him on the shoulder and spilled on him. He continued walking until he reached the car. It looked a little shabby, and there was an old woman behind the wheel. I could only assume it was a grandmother, or an aunt. I watched as he slid the cello in the passenger's side and retreat in the backseat. I noticed the grandma not even give the boy a second glance as she drove away.

Was this boy the cellist who played at the cemetery?

Why was he being bullied?

Why was he beat up?

Was he beat up during lunch at our table?

Why did he put the cello in the passenger's seat and go in the backseat?

Why....?

All of these questions ran through my head and I was stuck in a trance until Hangi shook my arm again. I hadn't noticed she had been holding it the entire time.

"Is it him?!?!" She asked.

"I-I think so." I stuttered.

"Poor little guy. Looks like he got beat up." Hangi let go of me and pouted.

"Didn't you think it was weird that he placed his cello in the passenger' seat instead of himself?" I asked.

"Yeah...that was kind of weird." Hangi admitted.

"Hmph." I bit my lip. If this was the guy who played the cello at the cemetery, why did he look so familiar...?

"By looking at him he has to be a sophomore." Hangi concluded.

"How can you tell?" I asked.

"Well he was small; he looked around your height," I glared at her "but he was a little mature to be a freshman."

I shrugged my shoulders and slung my backpack over my shoulder. "I should get going."

"Okay, I'm going to continue to observe people, mkay?" Hangi continued to no-so-stealthily watch people as I left the campus.

I walked home with the questions still circulating in my head. I couldn't get his image out of my mind, a boy with long dark brown hair and light colored eyes covered in bruises and bandages. I hated not knowing things,even if it was better if I didn't know. I needed to find him and maybe force answers out of him. But how?

XXX

I woke up in the morning, my face hurting. I walked over to my mirror to see that my black eye _had indeed_ formed along with a bruise on my nose. Great. But then I remembered that I was going over to Eren's today and I smiled, despite my appearance. Eren probably looked worse. I quickly showered and got ready. I decided I would be telling my friends the truth today so I didn't bandage my chest. I got dressed and grabbed my cellphone and jammed it into my pocket before leaving my room with my keys.I stopped in my grandma's room and found that she was still sleeping.

I kissed her forehead and whispered "Goobye Grandma."

I left her bedside and heard her whimper, "Celeste.".

I closed her door and left the house. I locked the front door and took off for Eren's house. His house wasn't far from mine; it was just a couple of blocks away. I reached his doorstep another ten minutes later.

I rang the doorbell and Eren quickly answered it. "Hey Alex!" He greeted his face was bruised way more badly than mine was.

"Hey Eren! You're face looks positively awful." I joked.

"So does yours!" He laughed.

He led me through the house and into his room where Armin and Mikasa were already lounging.

"Hey look who showed up!" Eren said.

Armin covered his mouth in shock when I walked through the door. "Oh my god Alex you look awful!"

"Thanks Armin." I rolled my eyes.

"Now this makes me feel even more bad." Mikasa said quietly.

"It's not your fault Mikasa. Alex was just trying to stop us when Horse Face swung at him." Eren said.

Mikasa hugged her knees "Yeah but if I at least tried to help pry you guys off each other then this wouldn't have happened. I am usually the one who stops you from fighting other guys. But this time, I was frozen for some reason." I sighed

"It's okay. I'm fine. It probably just looks worse then it feels." Silence filled the room and I closed my eyes.

I felt a pillow hit my face and I opened my eyes. "Don't fall asleep on us Alex." Eren said, a pillow in his hand.

I grabbed the pillow he threw at me and threw it back at him. "Pillow fight!!" Eren yelled.

Everybody started throwing pillows at each other and we were laughing. After a few more minutes of whacking each other with pillows we laid down on the bed together, exhausted.

"I haven't had a good pillow fight in years!" Armin exclaimed.

I laughed.

The rest of the day we spent playing wider games and running around the vacant house. For lunch we ordered a pizza, and the delivery man was surely surprised to see a bunch of sophomores answering the door.

"I love pizza! I feel like it came directly from Heaven!" Eren exclaimed taking a bite if his slice of pepperoni pizza.

"I love pizza too, I haven't had it in a while." I said.

We continued eating in silence. I knew I had to break the truth to them, but would it hurt them? I decided to tell them once we finished eating. We went back to lounging in Eren's room. He switched on the T.V. and we started watching a movie.

"Hey you guys?" I asked, suddenly filling up with dread.

"What?" Armin asked.

"I want to tell you guys something important." I said.

"What is it?" Mikasa asked, and their attention was turned to me.

"It's a really big secret of mine, and I trust you guys...so I'm going to tell you." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm a girl." Silence flooded the room and when I opened my eyes, Eren, Armin, and Mikasa were staring at me in disbelief.

"What?" Eren asked.

"I'm a girl." I repeated.

"Then why have you been pretending to be a guy?" Armin asked.

I sighed. "When I moved here last year I was told that they couldn't accept another girl into _Shinganshina High School_. So in order for me to get an education, I had to cut my hair and pretend to be a boy. And if that secret gets out then I'm going to have to move away again." I said bluntly.

Eren shook his head. "I still can't believe it."

"I'm not going to get undressed just to show you." I said.

"I knew it." Mikasa said.

"How?" I asked

"I don't know. Maybe it was your eyes." She said.

I blushed. I always got comments about my eyes.

"Okay so can I trust you guys to keep the secret?" I asked.

They nodded.

"Now this makes me feel even more bad." Eren said.

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't know, you tried to help me out with Horse Face and just got punched around. And since you're girl...that's hardly fair for a boy that bigger and stronger to punch a girl." He said.

"But I'm fine. It's better if I did boyish stuff in order to make the act more believable." I said.

"You're right." Armin said.

We spent the rest of our time watching the movie and talking.

XXX

"What time is it?" I groaned.

I was too lazy to fish my phone out of my pocket and check the time.

Eren glanced at the digital clock on his dresser. "3:50"

"Shit." I sat up from my position on the bed and rubbed my head.

"I should get going." I said.

"Why?" Mikasa asked.

"My grandma doesn't know I was suspended." I said bluntly.

Eren whistled. "Way to go Alex."

I rolled my eyes and laughed nervously. "I'm just going to walk home now."

"We're going to come with you." Eren said, standing up and stretching.

"Yeah, we shouldn't let you walk home by yourself." Armin said.

"It's fine. I walk to school from my house all of the time." I protested.

"We're coming with you." Mikasa said firmly.

"Fine." I said.

We left Eren's house in a group, laughing and talking as I led the way to my house. I knew I had to get there before school ended and my grandma went to pick me up. We reached my house in a matter of minutes and I led my friends up the walk onto the porch.

"Welcome to mi casa!" I said, laughing at the way Mikasa had narrowed her eyes.

I unlocked the door and let my friends into my house.

I wasn't prepared for the sight that met my eyes.

My grandma was laying in the hallway, unmoving. Panic rose in me and I ran to the lump blocking the hallway.

"Grandma!" I yelled.

I knelt down besides her body and shook her. "Grandma! Grandma! Wake up!" I yelled.

I pressed two of my fingers to her neck; I couldn't feel a pulse. I cursed.

I pressed my ear to her chest and felt no heartbeat.

"She's not breathing!!" I yelled.

My friends were standing on the porch, their eyes widening to the scene unfolding before them.

"Call 9-1-1." I ordered.

I tried CPR, pumping my fists on the old woman's chest.

No.

This couldn't be happening.

This couldn't be happening.

Not again.

I felt Armin kneel besides me and heard Mikasa talking on the phone. I ran my fingers through my hair as sobs wracked my body.

If only I had stayed.

If only I hadn't been selfish and stayed to care for her, this wouldn't be happening.

I lay my head on my grandma's chest and cried.

My friends tried to comfort me, but I was long gone. I was alone now, every single relation I and was dead.

This was my fault; it had all been my fault.

"This wasn't your fault Alex." I heard Eren say.

I hadn't realized I'd been speaking aloud. The ambulance and police arrived a few moments later and there were sirens blaring and mumbling; but I couldn't hear it. I was stuck in my own little world of grief and the world was moving too fast for me to catch up. Questions infiltrated my brain and I wondered how....

How was I going to pay for the funeral?

Where I was going to live after this?

What am I going to do with my life now that I'm all alone?

What would happen to me?

A paramedic wrapped a blanket around my shoulders and led me to sit in the ambulance. "He's shocked..."

"Poor thing."

I heard people talking but I couldn't comprehend what they were saying.

What was going on?

Why was this happening?

I felt somebody sit next to me and wrap their arms next to me.

I heard the voice of Mrs. Springer, my next door neighbor. "It's okay hon, you can stay with us. We'll help you."

I couldn't express how I was feeling; the only thing I could do was stare.

The only thing I could do was be stuck in my grief.

XXX

It was raining, and that made it harder to watch as my grandma's coffin was laid into the ground.I closed my eyes as I realized this was the last time I would see her, or ever feel her presence. There weren't many people here; nobody really knew my grandma and I didn't know how to spread the word about her death. There was only handful of people there, including Eren, Armin, and Mikasa. They have been supporting me through this ever since they set foot in my home. It's felt like I've been walking through a haze ever since that day, and I can't even remember the last time I've smiled. I haven't even said a word to anyone; it's as if I'm in too much shock to even say a word. I manage to get through the day, walking and eating, but it's as if my mind isn't even controlling me. I don't listen to when people talk to me, and I know everybody pities me. I look in the mirror sometimes and see that my face is emotionless and my green eyes are dull. The only comfort I find is in playing my cello, letting my mind find peace with the melody as tears run down its body.

It's really hard to get over this because it's all of my fault.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi you guys! Thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate it!  
> On another note, the book mentioned in this chapter: Eoten(a) Onslaught, is technically just Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan. I got the name from some really weird subs for the anime that named the anime as Eoten(a) Onslaught and the titans as Eotens. I just wanted to let you guys know!! ^_^  
> Again, feel free to give me advice and correct any mistakes!

_Alex_

I've had my learner's permit for over a year now, so now I was able to get my license. I was granted access to my grandma's car, but I'm not sure where I would drive. I could walk everywhere really. But really....all I want to do is stay home and play my cello.

XXX

It's been two weeks since my grandmother's death and I still can't seem to snap out of it. Eren, Armin, and Mikasa are very patient with me and I don't know why. Mikasa told me she understands because she also found her parents dead in her home. I wish somebody help me out of this dark and dreary hole, but I can't seem to see the light or find the person.

It was lunch and I was just staring at my tray. I hadn't eaten since a few days ago when Mrs. Springer came over and insisted to cook for me. I was able to cook but she could probably tell I didn't feel like it. She even tried introducing me to her son, Connie, but I could tell he didn't want anything to do with me.

Silence covered our table and I was grateful that was an excuse for me not to talk. But the silence shattered when Jean and Marco plopped down next to Mikasa. I forgot about all of the feelings I had for Jean as I stared emptily at my tray.

"Hey Mikasa," He drawled.

She rolled her eyes and avoided his gaze. "and assholes."

This was our usual greetings, and I usually said "Well hello to you too, Horse Face.", but I haven't talked since and I wasn't planning to. Marco silently waved at us, too shy to talk to us. Jean sat staring at me, waiting for me to say my line so he could back with fooling with Mikasa.

"What Alex? You're still sad about finding your grandma dead in the kitchen?" He asked.

"Jean." Marco placed a hand on Jean's shoulder.

I flinched but didn't respond.

I thought maybe that touch from best friend would make him stop, but I was wrong. 

"Get over it. Your grandma was going crazy anyways so w-"

"That's enough Jean." Mikasa said firmly.

Jean continued, "You should be glad she's dead, she was an old hag th-"

"Jean stop it!" Eren yelled.

I didn't feel the tear rolling down my cheek until Jean laughed. "Oh so now you're crying? Did I hurt your feelings? Do you want your dead grandma to comfort you?"

I had enough. I stood up and threw away my tray. Then I walked out of the cafeteria and out of the school.

I could hear Armin protesting behind me, Jean laughing and Marco scolding him, and Eren picking another fight but I didn't care anymore.

I just wanted to go to my only sanctuary, my only refuge. The only thing that would comfort me. I know I had left my my cello behind in the orchestra room, but that rotten hunk of wood wasn't what I needed now. I needed the one that was my mother's. I couldn't bear to look at it or even touch it after her funeral. But I think now was the time when I needed it most.

I reached my home in a matter of minutes and quickly ran inside. I fished through a drawer in the kitchen where my grandma had left all of her keys and found the one that unlocked the basement door. I approached the door silently, keeping the key in from of me as if it was a knife. I stuck it in the keyhole and turned it, hearing the gears click, and the door opened.

I darted down the stairs into the darkness below, automatically reaching towards the ceiling once I reached the floor. I felt the string and pulled on it, the lightbulb cascading a faint light across the basement. I tried not to look at what occupied it and turned to the corner where I knew the case would be. I grabbed the case and pulled the string again, letting darkness befall the basement once again.

I darted back up the stairs with the cello and closed the door behind me once I reached the house again. I quickly locked the door and went inside my bedroom. I placed the case on my bed and opened it, the zipper that haven't been opened in ages allowing me to uncover the instrument. I took out the bow first, tightening it and applying rosin to it. Then I took out the cello. I laid it on the bed first, admiring the wood, running my finger down its body. I plucked the string and tuned them, admiring the sound that rang. I placed my fingers on the fingerboard and wrapped my fingers around the bow. Then I took a deep breath and began to play.

XXX

_Levi_

"Do you see him?"

It was after school and we were looking for the boy again. We were in the same spot as before behind the bush in the courtyard watching the doors of the school. We haven't really seen him after school ever since he walked out with those bruises and bandages. I shook my head.

Hangi sighed and leaned against the wall of the school."You don't think he might have left do you?"

I shook my head again, still keen on watching the doors.

"We still have a lot of questions to ask him. This all would have been pointless if he left the school." Hangi droned.

"And if he did leave then why would he? What would be his reason?" I asked.

Hangi seemed taken aback by this question. "I'm not sure. Maybe it was because he was being bullied? It didn't look like the grandma really cared enough to actually let the boy transfer over to Trost. The 30 minute drive to school every morning wouldn't be worth it if he was my child."

I grunted.

Suddenly an idea sparked in me. "I have an idea about where we could find him." I said.

I walked into the courtyard, out of the comfort of the bush.

Hangi gave me a questioning look but I motioned for her to follow me across the courtyard.

I needed to know who this guy was; he mesmerized me. I saw him everywhere, and saw him nowhere. He was everything; but yet he was nothing. He occupied all of the space in my mind; all I could see when I closed my eyes was this mysterious guy. I needed to know him; he had to be apart of my life. I had to; it was as if fate was pushing myself towards him; it was an inescapable trance.

I would have to take drastic measures to find this boy. I decided to ask some acquaintances of mine that were sophomores. I didn't know if the boy was a freshman or a sophomore, but Hangi seemed determined that the boy was a sophomore.

I had met Eren, Mikasa, and Armin after school last year. The group seemed to be inseparable, and I wished I had a group like that now. Petra, Auruo, and I used to be like that throughout those first years of high school. It pains me every time I see them because it reminds me of the past.

_It was after school last year when I watched as a freshman boy tripped and his papers and notebooks flew. I don't know why but as I watched the boy's face redden and his two friends sitting at a bench nearby laughed, I felt compelled to help the boy. Petra and Auruo always used to joke that I didn't have a heart but this was a reminder to them that there was still hope for my lost soul._

_I helped pick up the papers and notebooks. Before I handed them over I took a quick glance at the name in the top right corner._

_Eren Jaeger._

_I kept that name in mind. I gave them back to the boy but had not expected what he looked like. I had stared into the face of a freshman who was tan and had turquoise, sparkling eyes._

_To be honest, I actually fell head over heels in love for him when I looked into his eyes. But if it wasn't for our conversations later then we could have had a chance._

_"Thanks." He smiled and I felt my heart flutter._

_"No problem, Jaeger." I said gruffly._

_He turned around and headed back to the two people on the bench that had been laughing when he tripped._

_"You guys could have helped me pick up the stuff I dropped." He said._

_A boy with blonde hair wiped a tear from his eyes, still laughing._

_"I'm sorry, Eren. I-It's just.." He started to laugh again._

_The girl besides him was also trying to keep a straight face, but they ultimately failed and laughed again._

_Eren grunted and sat besides the boy with blonde hair. He draped his arm lazily across the bench with a sour face._

_I hadn't noticed that I had been staring at him until he motioned to the empty space on the bench._

_"You wanna sit?" He asked._

_I had been taken aback by this, nobody had asked me to sit with them before._

_I walked over to them and he patted the blonde haired boy's back. "Armin scoot over."_

_The boy with blonde hair scooted over and I sat down at the edge of the bench._

_"What's your name?" Eren asked._

_"Levi Rivaille." I responded._

_"What grade are you in?" He asked._

_By then the kid was annoying me. Any feelings I had for him now were going down the drain. "I'm a sophomore." I mumbled._

_"Ah! We're freshmans." He gestured to his little group._

_A strand of brown hair fell into his face and I wanted to brush it away from his face; it annoyed me._

_"Let's introduce ourselves." Eren ruffled the blonde-haired boy's hair._

_"This nerd is Armin." He jabbed a thumb in the black haired girl's direction._

_"This here is my adopted sister Mikasa. That's the only reason she hangs out with us."_

_Mikasa glared at the turquoise eyed boy. "I'm only here so you won't get into any trouble." She mumbled._

_Eren laughed._

_This guy was seriously obnoxious and lazy and it was beginning to annoy me._ _I could only imagine how he was in class._

_The boy yawned and closed his eyes. "I'm Eren Jaeger, but you probably already knew that."_

_"Eren." I heard Armin say._

_"Your shoe is untied." Eren lifted his leg and draped it across Armin's lap._

_"Tie it for me then." Armin nodded and I had the nagging suspicious that something was going on between these two._

_Eren glanced back at me as Armin fiddled with his shoelace. "You're pretty short for a sophomore." He laughed._

_"You're pretty stupid for a freshman, Jaeger." I retorted._

_He wagged his finger at me. "Touché, Rivalle."_

_Armin finished tying Eren's shoe and glanced at the pick-up area._

_"Eren isn't that your mom's car?" He asked._

_"Oh yeah!" He and Mikasa stood up and started gathering their things._

_"Bye Armin! Nice talking to you Rivaille!" Eren yelled as he got into his mom's car._

_"Bye Mikasa! Bye Eren!" Armin shouted back._

_And by that I could totally tell there was something going on between Eren and Armin, but it was one-sided. I left after that, not wanting to bother Armin anymore with my presence. And that was how they became my acquaintances._

Throughout the year I had seen them through the hallways and we exchanged hellos but that was it. I walked over to Eren, Mikasa, and Armin with Hangi, who were still sitting in the same bench I had met them in.

As I approached them, Eren stuck a lollipop in his mouth. He noticed me coming and smiled.

"Hey it's been some time Levi!" He exclaimed.

Then his eyes lit up as he noticed Hangi besides me, who went unnaturally quiet.

"Levi, is that you're girlfriend?" He waggled his eyebrow.

Hangi stifled a laugh.

I scowled. "Gross. No."

"I'm Hangi!" Hangi smiled and stuck out her hand.

Eren looked at me and her suspiciously but shook her hand.

She offered her hand to Armin and Mikasa and they also shook it.

"I came to ask you guys a question." I said.

Hangi nudged my side. " _We_ came to ask you guys a question." She corrected me.

I rubbed my side and frowned at her.

"Shoot." Eren said.

"Do you know a sophomore boy who plays cello?" I asked.

Eren shook his head and Mikasa cocked her head to the side, thinking.

Then suddenly Eren's eyes lit up again and he glanced at Mikasa and Armin with a sly grin.

Mikasa giggled and Arm stifled a laugh.

Eren shook his head. "Nah I don't know anybody, Rivaille."

I stared at them suspiciously.

Eren looked back at Armin and winked at him. "Why you asking,Rivaille?" He asked slyly.

Armin stifled a laugh again.

I didn't get what was so funny.

"No reason." I mumbled and turned away.

In my corner of my eye I saw Eren nudge Armin with his elbow and winking again.

I clenched my fists and turned back around, my tolerance for Jaeger exploding.

"It's not like that!" I shouted.

Eren laughed and I scowled.

"Stop looking like you want to _murder_ us, Rivaille!" Eren slapped his knee and wiped at the tears accumulating his his eyes.

"Ooh! Levi! If you murder them can I _dissect_ _their bodies_?!?" Hangi shook my arm with a smile on her face.

That made Eren's eyes widen.

"I never expected such a weird couple!" He placed his index fingers from both his hands together as if he were placing us in a picture frame.

"The ecstatic scientist and mad shortie."

"Shut up Jaeger." I slung my bag over my shoulder and walked away pulling Hangi away from them.

"Good luck with finding him, Rivaille!" Eren hooted.

"Shut up brat!" I yelled back.

Hangi went back behind the bush and I walked home.

That boy would be the death of me.

Eren and the cellist both.

XXX

I decided that it was time again. I slung my mother's cello case over my shoulder and took a foldable chair from the shed and left the house discretely. I didn't want any of the neighbors watching me and where I was going; I like doing this in silence and when nobody was invading my privacy. It was a short walk to my grandma's house to the cemetery and I thought about my mother and grandma on the way.

I remembered my mother's smile; it was the thing I loved best about her. She died smiling in my arms, and the memory of her bloody body cradled in my lap made me stop and close my eyes on the sidewalk in front of the cemetery. Once I regained my composure I walked to my mother's and now my grandma's grave.

I set up the foldable chair in front of the two graves and left my cello on the ground besides me. I stared at the two gravestones and remembered all of the good memories of the two important women in my life.

It had been my fault in both of their deaths; I was the cause.

Everybody I loved had left me; my father had left me before I even started the third grade. It hurt so much knowing that these people would never come back to me; never tell me how much they loved me. I would never be able to tell them how much I loved them. I guess this was my way of saying that I would never forget them. I unpacked my cello and set the endpin on the grave of my mother's.

I closed my eyes and played.

I let the sound ring and I could feel tears falling. This was my way of grieving, my way of remembering. My mother used to love hearing me play, and so did my grandma. I needed them to hear from wherever they were now that I wouldn't forget them.

XXX

The next day at lunch I was quiet as usual. Eren, Armin, and. Mikasa were looking at me with concerned looks but I avoided their gazes. I felt somebody sit next to me and looked up to see Jean.

I scowled and looked away from his face. I heard him grunt besides me. I saw Marco sit down next to Armin and I knew something was up.

Jean sighed. "Look, I guess I'm sorry about yesterday."

Marco kicked him underneath the table.

"Ow!" Jean cried out.

This had obviously been Marco's idea. Marco is the only person that Jean listens to.

"Fine, I'm sorry. As an apology gift," Jean looked at Marco with a roll of his eyes. "You guys can come to my party tomorrow."

Eren scoffed. "Why would want to go to your stupid party?"

"Let us make it up to you! Please!" Marco pleaded.

Eren rolled his eyes and with an affirmative nod from me he accepted the invitation.

"Great. 10:00 tomorrow evening." And with that Jean and Marco left.

"Are you going to go Alex?" Mikasa asked.

I shrugged.

"Jean lives all the way in Trost so we're going to have to drive there. You want us to pick you up?" Eren asked.

I shook my head.

I took out my cell phone and texted him: _I'll drive myself_.

I had taken to texting my friends the things I had wanted to say since I became mute. It was easier to me, knowing that they couldn't read the emotion in my voice when I said something.

Eren received the message and texted me back an: _okay_ and Jean's address.

I sighed once more and placed my head in my hands.

I didn't want to go to this party, there would be popular people and I hated hanging out with the " _cool kids_ ". Heck, I even hated them looking at me.

If Marco wasn't with Jean when he invited me I would be convinced that they would do something horrible at the party to me. Marco was nice and usually tamed Jean. They were a prefect pair; an obnoxious impulsive asshole and a sweet, kind and caring angel. If Marco hadn't been absent the day of our fight then it wouldn't have happened.

XXX

 _A phone call between Mr. Smith and Lev_ i:

MS: Hey Levi tomorrow you're going to be working tomorrow at 7:00 until we close the shop at midnight

L: * _groan_ * Yes sir I'll be there. If I may ask, who will be working with me in that amount off time? I don't think I can bear it if it's some shi-

MS: You'll be working with Hangi.

L: Oh. I guess my shift won't be so horrible then.

MS: * _chuckle_ * Well I had to pair you up with your girlfriend Levi.

L: She's not my girlfriend!

MS: You're not fooling anyone Levi.

L: Shut up old man! * _hangs up_ *

XXX

_The next day_

_Levi_

It was another day of work at Shiganshina's Finest Bookstore. Mr. Smith had decided to give me a shift with Hangi and I regretted it the moment I walked in the door and tied on my apron.

"Levi!"

As soon as I finished tying my apron around my waist I was nearly toppled over by Hangi.

"Agh! Stop it you dork!" She hugged me until I felt I was going to explode.

"I'm sorry! IM JUST SO HAPPY!" She exclaimed, letting go of me and clasping her hands together, sighing in pleasure.

I noticed some drool dribbling out of her mouth and I immediately chuckled. "Should I be worried?"

"No!" She ran through the empty aisles of endless bookshelves laughing.

"I did research about the bookstore when I took my shifts!"

"About?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

"The times customers most often come in to purchase or browse or book selections!" She said, suddenly stopping in the middle of the Science bookshelves.

She ran her index finger across the spines of the books and her eyes lit up as she pulled out the book of her choice.

"And I can assume that through 7:00 until closing time is the time customers come in less frequently?" I droned.

"7:30 until closing time!" She said as the door opened.

I groaned as I stationed myself behind the counter. It was quite obvious that Hangi wasn't going to do it and we were the only ones on shift right now.

After a few minutes the customer left without buying anything and Hangi lounged on the couch in the staff room.

I joined her, pushing her legs away so we lay down besides each other, her feet near my head and my feet near her head.

Hangi lifted her glasses and opened the book.

As soon as she opened it she lay the book on her chest and squealed.

"What's wrong with your book?" I asked.

"Sorry, it's just I'm so excited about this book!!" Hangi laughed.

"Are you sure you're not on crack?" I raised my eyebrow.

"I'm positive! You want to know what this book is about?" She said shoving the book in my face.

"No." I said, pushing it away.

"Okay, so it's called _Eoten(a) Onslaught_. It's about this giants called _Eotens_ that eat people!" Hangi said, her eyes shining.

"Why are you so excited about that?"

"Because the people have to escape behind walls but then the _Eotens_ break through and it's a fight to survival!" She pounded her fist in the air.

"If you're dreaming about fighting those _Eotens_ then don't. You'd probably be the first one to get eaten."

Hangi pouted. "Levi, that's not nice!"

"I thought we already established that I wasn't nice." I smirked.

"Anyways, you should totally read it." Hangi said, opening the book once more and and continued to read.

I got up to go to the bookshelves to get a copy so I could please her when she raised her face from her book.

"I took the last copy Levi. Sorry!"

I narrowed my eyes at her. Looks like I would have to go to another bookstore in Trost that was still open after work to buy the stupid book so Hangi would stop bugging me about it.

We didn't have anymore customers so Hangi stayed quiet reading and I just played games on my cellphone until our shifts were over.

When the clock struck 12:00 I hung up my apron. Hangi was still entranced by her book and hadn't glanced at the clock.

I took the book from her hands "It's closing time."

Hangi sighed and hung up her apron.

I gave the book back to her and she continued to read even as I locked up the bookstore.

"See ya later Hangi." I said, walking away from the bookstore.

I walked down half the block and found that Hangi was still reading the book in front of the store.

"Hangi! Go home!" I yelled.

She looked up from her book and smiled at me. "Okay!"

She started walking in the opposite direction, her head bent and still reading.

"You're going to get hit by a car Hangi!" I shouted.

"No I'm not!" She yelled back.

I sighed and shook my head. I had been thinking of going home but I guess now I had to go to Trost. It was a 40 minute walk to and from Trost, but I guess it would be worth it if I got the book so Hangi wouldn't nag me about it later.

I began to walk to Trost and knew it would be really hard to do so at midnight. Beyond the populated part of Shiganshina there lay forests. There was only one road connecting Trost and Shiganshina and it was in between the wilderness. It would be extremely dangerous to walk that road but I would do it for my only friend. It was dark and I couldn't see anything except for the forests nearby and the yellow stripes on the road. I should just get back home.

No, I didn't have anything to do at home besides thinking of my heartbreak and about the mysterious cellist. I needed to do something to get my mind off of the things that haunted my mind, and walking was the perfect answer.

I was thinking about how we could ever get to talk to the cellist when a bright light blinded me. I blinked and raised my hand in front of my face. When I realized they were headlights, the world had gone dark again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi you guys! Thank you so much for reading! I deeply appreciate it!   
> In this chapter, if you want you can go look up the song Cool Kids by Echosmith. It kind of sets the mood! ^_^   
> Again, as always, feel free to give me advice and point out my mistakes/grammatical errors!   
> Enjoy~

_Alex_  

XXX

I had been lying in bed taking a nap when I heard my phone ring. I groaned and found a text message from Eren:

_E: We r on our way to Jean's_

_R you on ur way 2??_

I reread the message 5 times before it finally sunk in. I glanced at the clock and groaned. Now I remembered: Jean's party. I was about to be late. To get there at 10:00 I had to be on my way by 9:30. It was 9:46. I texted back a _yes_. I groaned again and tried to fix my hair a little bit and put on a different shirt. I looked decent enough to be at Jean's party.

Who was I kidding I would never fit in with the cool kids.

I grabbed my keys off the kitchen table and hopped in the car. I set out to Trost, an awful feeling building in the pit of my stomach. I arrived at Jean's house at least ten minutes late, but I honestly didn't care. I didn't want to be here in the first place anyways. I could totally tell I was in the right place because of the gigantic house and the horrible pop music blaring and all of the cars parked outside. I tucked my keys into my pocket and rang the doorbell. I put a finger to my temple and tried not to hyperventilate. Cool and popular kids made me want to hide.

Marco answered the door and greeted me with a smile. "Come in Alex! I'll tell Jean you're here."

I stepped inside the house with a look of disgust. His house was as ginormous and rich-looking as it looked from the outside. There were so many people it was hard to breathe. Kids were dancing and holding plastic cups full of alcohol and it made me want to puke.

"Alex!" I turned around to see Eren, Mikasa, and Armin standing in the middle of the staircase.

I walked over to them and slumped against the wall.

"It's about time!" Eren said.

"Yeah, Alex." I turned around to find Jean glaring at me.

I rolled my eyes.

"Do you want anything to drink? Some beer?" Jean lifted a six-pack of beer.

I looked at Eren.

"He'll pass. Do you have anything else?" He asked for me.

"I'll get you a coke then." Jean said walking away muttering under his breath "Sissy."

He returned a few moments later with a root beer.

I sighed again and took out my phone to text my friends.

I added them all to a group chat and we talked.

XXX

_A portion of the Group Chat: Eren Jaeger, Mikasa Ackerman, Armin Arlert, Alex_

_A: Thanks Eren_

_E: No problemo_

_M: Man this is a sucky party_

_A: Ikr_

_E: I've actually never imagined that we would be at Jean's party_

_M: Same_

_AA:U know what I heard?_

_E: Wut?_

_AA:They r going to play spin the bottle 2night_

_M: Ew_

_E: Gross_

_A: I don't want to stay here for that_

_AA: Me neither_

XXX

Then suddenly Eren's phone started ringing.

 _Sie sind das Essen und wir sind die Jäger_!

Eren groaned. "Hold up you guys."

Eren put his cellphone to his ear and began to talk in it. "Whaddaya want old man?"

Mikasa gasped. "Don't tell me it's-"

Eren's annoyed voice interrupted her,"Yeah, yeah. I got it Dad. I'll be right there."

He hung up the phone and shuddered.

"You're dad's back?" Armin asked.

"Yup." Eren responded shoving the phone back in his pocket.

Eren and Mikasa's dad from what I heard is very unsupportive of his children. He always goes away on business trips and hardly comes home.

"Well Mikasa I guess we got to go!" 

Mikasa pumped her fist in the air and yelled "All right!".

"We're going to have to take Armin too, remember?" 

Armin smiled and nodded his head. "I can't wait to get out of this place!" 

The three glanced back at me.

"We really don't want to leave you here alone." Mikasa said.

I shrugged my shoulders and gave them a push out the door. 

"Alex! Take care and don't get in trouble, aight?" Eren yelled.

 I nodded and slumped against the wall once again. I should just leave. But they invited me here and I guess I have to stay. I glanced at the clock on my phone and groaned. A suitable time to leave would be 2:40. Not to long to stay and not too short. It was barely 12:00.

I lay back against the wall for a bit, occasionally sipping my root beer and watching everyone have fun. I remembered a time back home with my friends when there was no deaths and no guilt and it pained me that so many people were having the time of their lives right now while I was feeling depressed.

"Hey guys!!" I heard Jean shout. 

I turned my head to see Jean with a bottle in his hands. "We're going to play spin the bottle!! All you guys wanting to participate come and sit in a circle over here!" 

At least the entire party moved to where Jean had directed and sat in a circle except for a few kids, including myself. The circle was so unorganized that there were spaces in between people. Everybody was so drunk and it was easy to tell.

I groaned as I watched the bottle spin and spin countless time and people kissing each other. I closed my eyes and shoved my phone in my pocket when the clock struck midnight. I stepped off the staircase and walked calmly to the door trying to remain my composure. 

My hand was so close to the doorknob when I saw the bottle spin and land on an empty space in the circle directly in front of Jean and I. I cursed in my head as I heard people whoop and stare at both of us.

"He's not playing so it doesn't count!" I heard Jean grunt.

"It does count! Do it! We all know you have a thing for him anyways!" A girl I recognized from my Science class as Ymir yelled.

"Yeah do it!" Other people shouted.

A chant arose from the crowd, "Do it! Do it! Do it!" until Jean finally stood up. 

He walked slowly over to me and I saw the annoyed face he had on. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Just do it Jean. Face it you're ga-a-ay!" I turned to see Connie, the son of Mrs. Springer laughing. For having such a kind mother, he sure was an asshole. 

Jean looked at me with such hatred that I doubted that was true. 

Then he closed his eyes and pressed his lips on mine. 

My eyes widened as I realized this was my first kiss. My first kiss was with Jean?! His lips tasted of alcohol and I was grateful when they were off of mine.

I wiped my mouth and immediately left from all of the cool kids' laughs and stares. 

The ride home I spent trying to rid my lips the memories of Jean's against mine. I was thinking about how much I wanted to burn my lips off when suddenly something appeared in middle of the road. 

I tried to brake but I felt something bounce off the car. I felt my heart stop as I raised my hands to my mouth. 

No. 

Not again.

This couldn't be happening again. 

I jumped off the car and raced to the front of the car to see what I had hit. I recognized the body as the boy I had seen in school, the beautiful boy with black hair and furrowed eyebrows. I couldn't believe it. 

He wasn't moving and tears rolled down my cheeks. I knelt down besides the boy and tried shaking him awake. 

He couldn't be...dead? 

No. 

This couldn't be. 

I couldn't have.. 

He couldn't die like mother. 

Suddenly the person groaned. I felt myself leap for joy as I realized I didn't kill a person. The boy's eyes opened and stared into mine. His blue eyes were orbs that made my face redden.

"Are you okay?" I asked, trembling, my voice hoarse.

I realized that this was the first time I had talked since my grandma's death. This boy...he made me talk? 

The boy sat up and rubbed his head. 

He shot me an icy look and I squirmed.  "I'm fine. You should really watch where you're going."

"I'm sorry." I said and I stood up. 

I stuck out my hand to help the boy up but he didn't take it. 

"Were you heading to Shiganshina?" I asked.

He placed his hands on his hips. "Nah, I was going to Stohess." 

I clenched my teeth."Fine, why don't I drive you back to wherever you were going." 

The boy rolled his eyes. "That's not necessary." 

"I insist. It's the least I can do." I said.

"Fine. Just try not to hit anything else on the way back." He said climbing into the passenger's seat of the Malibu.

I joined him in the driver's seat and began to drive back to Shiganshina. I couldn't help but admit that he was gorgeous. There was silence in the car and I fidgeted.

"My name's Levi. What's your name kid?" I was taken aback by the sudden announcement of his name and the question.

"Um....Alex." I answered, blushing. 

"Do you go to Shiganshina High?" Levi asked. 

"Yes. Why are you asking me these questions?" I snapped.

"Just because. You did run me over with this hunk of junk."He slammed the dashboard of the car. 

"Well, yeah. Sorry." We made into town and I had to ask where I was going to drop him off.

"So um...where do I take you?" I asked awkwardly.

"The apartment complex near the school. You know where those are right?" Levi asked. 

I nodded. We reached the apartment complex and Levi hopped off the car. As he closed the passenger's door I noticed he had something in his hand. 

"What's that?" I asked as he turned around.

He lifted the book with a questioning glance as if he were asking, "What? This?" I nodded as I read the title: _Eoten(a) Onslaught_.

"A book full of _blood_." He smirked as my eyes widened.

He then dashed up the apartment complex's stairs and entered an apartment. I sighed as he closed the door behind him.

XXX 

_Levi_

As soon as I was in the apartment I slid against the door with my face in my hands. When I had first woken up, I actually thought I was in Heaven when those eyes met mine. Those eyes were beautiful; kind of like Jaeger's.  They were a light emerald green with flecks of gold and brown that made it reflect even in the dark night. I felt entranced by those eyes, like I had been pushed further into this mess. I was drowning in those emerald eyes..and I didn't understand why. 

Why was I suddenly so attracted to this cellist? 

I reached in my pocket and took out my phone. I dialed Hangi's numbers and put the phone to my ear, making no effort to get up from my position on the door.

"Hello?" Hangi's sleepy voice answered. 

"Yeah it's Levi." I said bluntly.

"Levi...It's like 3:00 or something." She moaned. 

"Yeah...you know how I said you would were going to be hit by a car?"

"Yeah. I didn't by the way." 

"Well I did."

I could hear Hangi dying of laughter through the phone.

"Do you need me to visit you in the hospital or what?!" She said, amusement lingering on her voice.

"No, but guess who was the one that almost killed me." I could hear her gasp.

"Don't tell me..."

"The cellist." I said.

"OMG what did you say!!" She squealed. 

"Look if you're just going to be an annoying schoolgirl about this then I'll just hang up." 

"No! I'm sorry. What did he say?"

"The usual stuff when you hit someone with your car: I'm sorry. Let me drive you to wherever you're going blah blah." 

"He drove you home?!" 

"Yup."

"What did you guys talk about?" 

"Nothing really. I told him my name; he told me his. His name is Alex. And....he has beautiful green eyes."

"Now I think you're turning into the annoying schoolgirl." 

"Shut up Hangi."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi you guys! I hope you're enjoying the story so far! Sorry for this short chapter ;A; There will be a long one I promise! Thank you for reading! As always, please point out my grammatical errors/mistakes and give me alive on what to do with this story! Thanks a lot and....  
> Enjoy~

 "ALEX?! YOU KISSED JEAN?!?!" Eren yelled.

"I didn't kiss Jean, he kissed me. It was Spin-the-Bottle and I wasn't even participating. I just happened to be walking by when it landed on an empty spot across from me and Jean." I droned, tired of repeating the same excuse over and over.

So many people are talking about it and it irked me. I was never one to tolerate gossip, especially if it was about me. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin didn't question me when this morning I spoke to them verbally. I couldn't tell them about the guy I hit, the one who made my speech come back. I couldn't stop thinking about him, his blue eyes and his beautiful face.

"BUT STILL?!" Eren screeched.

"Eren, calm down." Mikasa patted Eren's back.

"I know man, it was just a kiss." Armin said.

"YEAH! JUST A KISS! NEXT TIME IT'S GONNA BE A COUPLE OF KIDS!!" Eren yelled.

After a moment he giggled. It was a giggle that made him sound like a gossiping schoolgirl. He covered his mouth with his hands and Mikasa and Armin and I looked at him with concern. Soon he was doubling over with laughter, and this was quite peculiar because Eren was known to hold very long grudges.

"Alex..don't tell me..," He wiped a tear from under his eye. "That was your first kiss."

Mikasa gasped and Armin joined Eren in laughing when my face reddened and I nodded.

It was a disgusting realization to take in.

"My first kiss was with a drunken Jean Kirschstein and I immediately regretted it and tried to burn my lips off afterwards." I laughed.

The mood around our group had gotten presumably happier once I started talking again. I had never noticed how much my friends were worried about me until I started talking again and their laughs felt enlightened.

"Yo Alex!" I felt a plate slid besides me.

An arm wrapped around my shoulder and I felt a face come close to mine.

"How did it feel to have Jean's lips on yours?" The person asked.

I flushed as the arm wrapped around my shoulders attached hand caressed my cheek. I felt the person breath on my neck and a face came into my view. I recognized the person as Ymir, the freckles dotting her tan face making it awfully obvious.

"It must have felt awfully _good_..." Ymir stretched out the word and it made me turn even more crimson.

"U-Um.." I stammered, uncomfortable with the lack of personal space.

"Ymir stop it!" I looked up to see a small, petite blonde girl with blue eyes putting her hands on her hips.

Her face was red and it looked like she was going to explode out of anger. I guess I shouldn't be saying anything, I probably looked like a tomato.

"I'm just having fun Christa, don't get your panties in a twist!" Ymir unhooked herself from me with a grunt and wrapped her arms around Christa.

"That's not my name Ymir!" Christa pouted.

"Yeha, I know. _Historia_ , right? Don't worry, I'm only yours." She placed her face in the crook of Historia's/Christa's (?) neck.

She breathed a few words into Historia/Christa's neck that sounded like, "We all know I'm not straight anyways, babe." and Historia/Christa giggled. They walked away with their fingers interlocked, and I flushed even more watching them.

"Alex, don't act like you've never seen lesbians before." Eren laughed.

I flushed and Armin smirked. "Shiganshina's only lesbians, you mean."

Mikasa reached across he table and smacked Armin's arm as he laughed.

"Ymir is rude and doesn't know what personal space is, but otherwise she's pretty okay." Mikasa told me.

"I felt strange, having a girl wrap her arms around me." I admitted.

"Yeah we all feel strange when _that_ happens!" Eren smiled, giving me a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"Are you finally getting out of the closet Eren?" Mikasa joked.

Eren immediately blanched and stuttered, "No!! I-I w-was just t-talking ab-bout Ymir...and when she..."

And Mikasa just laughed,"You're not fooling anyone Eren." and ruffled his hair to make it even more messy then it already was.

I folded my hands and placed my head in them and smiled. It felt like the good days were back, when there was no pain and no suffering. But the good days had ended a long time ago, and then I knew there was never going back.

XXX

"So what are we going to do about that cellist?" Hangi said, picking at the glob of brown muck that they dared call " _spaghetti and meatballs_ " with a spork.

I frowned. "Hangi are you seriously going to eat that shit?"

"No," She smiled. "I just like pushing it around because I'm bored."

I smiled. "You really are weird."

"Answer my question." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"I think the reason why we don't see him at the pick-up area is because he drives home. Either that or he walks from another side door in the school."

"Do you want to try the student parking lot today after school?"

"Yeah, but what are we going to tell him?" I said, sighing.

There wasn't a way of approaching him unless we revealed his secret.

"Maybe we should ask him to join ' _our band_ '!" Hangi's face lit up.

"Band?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Yes! I can play the violin! Do you play an instrument?" I sighed again at the sight memories flashing in my head.

"My mother forced me to learn the piano."

"Ooh! I have a better idea! What if we made it into a rock band!" She jabbed her finger in e air and I could see the gears turning in her head.

"I know a guy and he's sick on the drums! I play guitar also! Levi..do you sing?" She have me a devilish grin and I felt myself turn crimson.

"You do!! Oh my god! Levi why didn't you ever tell me?!" She reached over the table and shook my shoulders.

"I don't sing." I lied.

It was a half-truth. I don't sing professionally or anything, but I guess I can hum a little bit to music. I don't know why I got so embarrassed all of a sudden.

Hangi sat back down in her seat and groaned. "You know...Fuck it."

My eyes widened at the sound of her cursing. "Hangi?"

"Forget about the band stuff. Let's...just see what happens." I raised my eyebrow.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes..."

I could tell by her eyes that something was wrong, but I didn't dare question it.

XXX

The final bell had rung and I had left the school irritated. I had been pestered all day about the "kissing Jean issue". It had gotten really annoying and last time I almost socked a girl's face. But now I was alone and I could go home with no interruptions.

 _"No interruptions so you can daydream about Levi."_ A voice in my head sang.

 _"Shut up."_ I told the voice.

But I couldn't help but admit it. I never found myself so attracted to a person before. I never really cared about people and if they liked me or not until now. Suddenly I felt very self conscious about myself.

_What if he thought I was weird?_

_What if he thought I was ugly?_

 

_What if....?_

I reached my car and unlocked it with a sigh. The only reason I brought my car today was because I was too tired from last night to walk all the way to school without collapsing in the middle of the street. I climbed in and rested my head on the dashboard as I turned the key in the ignition.

I raised my eyes to look in the rearview mirror and saw the boy who was in my thoughts ever since our encounter. He was leaning against a tree near the student parking lot.. His arms were crossed over his chest, showing muscles that made me gulp. Levi's eyes met mine and I turned crimson. A tall girl with mousy brown hair pulled into a pony tail and glasses stood besides him and it felt as if she was dissecting me with her sharp brown eyes.

They seemed to be..watching me intently.

I quickly avoided their gazes and drove out of the student parking lot, trying to shake the thoughts of them watching me from my mind.

It was purely coincidence that they were staring at me...

_Right?_

XXX

I sighed as I watched him drive away. I turned to look at Hangi who was deep in thinking.

She stared at the place Alex's car used to be and whispered, "He does have beautiful eyes."

"Told you." I grunted.

We stayed like that for a while, deep in thought by the student parking lot.

"So what should we do now?" I asked.

"We should knock on his door and ask him if he has a moment to talk about _Jesus, our lord and savior_!" Hangi laughed.

I chuckled, but quickly stopped.

"Darn it, Hangi, we need an actual plan."

"I don't have any ideas." I slyly smirked.

"Ya know, that Jehovah's Witnesses thing doesn't sound like a bad idea now."

Hangi laughed, "I knew it!"

XXX

I walked home with a smile on my face. I honestly don't know what I would do without that lunatic. I had to owe it to though, she had turned my world around. Without her I would still be stuck in this rut of despair. It's not that I didn't still think about Petra; that I didn't ache to hold her in my arms, it's just now someone else was occupying my mind.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi you guys! Thank you so much for reading, you can't believe how happy you've made me!!  
> In this chapter it explains Alex's mother's death ;A; Just a warning, you don't have to read it if you don't want to.  
> I love you guys, enjoy~

XXX

_Alex_

"Yo Alex!" I looked up from my plate. I had been caught daydreaming again. It was happening way too often again and now I felt very exasperated every time it happened. Sometime so would just space out and remember things....

"Hm?"

"I'm thinking of looking for a job today, you want to come with?" Eren asked, twisting the cap off his chocolate milk. I thought about it.

_Do I need to get a job? Some of the money my grandma had left stowed away was starting to run out and I would have to pay the bills...._

"Yeah sure, I need the money anyways." I shrugged.

"Great." He smiled and took a swig of the chocolate milk.

"I already found a job at the convenience store near our house." Mikasa added.

"I won't be looking for one." Armin interjected.

"Why not?" I asked.

"I wouldn't be good at a regular job and besides, I need the extra time for studying." He explained.

I nodded in approval.

Eren slapped Armin's back and he stiffened. "You care too much about this hellhole Armin."

He grunted in response.

XXX

_Later_

" _Shiganshina's Finest Bookstore_!" Eren announced.

We stood in front of a small brick building with the words Eren said outlining the green awning hanging over us.

"They're always hiring." He explained.

I hadn't noticed this place before, but that was probably because I never go out.

"I scheduled an interview for us already, Mr. Smith is probably waiting for us inside."

We stood in front of the building for a moment longer, then Eren pushed open the door.

XXX

_As soon as we left the bookstore_

"Whoop! Whoop!" Eren yelled.

I laughed at Eren's reaction.

"I can't believe Mr. Smith decided to hire us!" He exclaimed and pumped his fist in the air.

"Well what reason does he not have to hire us?" I asked.

"I dunno maybe the fact I would be failing all of my classes without the help of Armin?" 

"But I like how our first day tomorrow. We can get paid quicker." I smiled.

Eren sighed and smiled. "I can't wait to get my first paycheck."

I patted his shoulder with a smile, "In all due time Eren."

XXX

_"Mom!"_

_I stood at the other end of the street, smiling at my mother in front of me._

_Thunder crashed and I jumped at the sudden sound. It began to rain and it was hard to see my mother in the haze. My mom was coming back from work and I had decided to wait for her because I and come out early from school._ _Grandma had come to visit and I was excited to talk to the the two most important women in my life. I should have known that would never happen._

_I looked down at both sides of the street, trying to identify through the rain if there were any cars coming down the road. I decided that there wasn't any and called out to my mother, "It's safe! You can cross now!"_

_She smiled and nodded._

_She crossed the street and I held out my arms so I can hold her when she finally got to my side._

_But she never did._

_A car sped down the street out of nowhere and the last thing I saw was my mother smiling.The lightening flashed and made it clear to see as the car made rough contact with my mother._

_My eyes widened and the only thing I could hear was myself screaming._

_I couldn't move, I felt paralyzed; rooted to the wet cement. The rain still pounding on my body_

_Then I ran._

_"Mom!" I screamed._

_I knelt down besides her; the blood being washed away by the rain._

_I held her head in my lap, despite it being bloody, and tried to memorize the shapes of her face; the color of her eyes..._

_Deep down inside, I knew that I wouldn't be seeing them again_

_"Alex.." She whispered, coughing up blood in the process._

_"Mom! You can't die!" I yelled._

_"Alex..," She whispered. "Listen to me."_

_I shook my head, sobbing. "No! Mom! I can't-"_

_She reached up with her last spurt of strength and_ _caressed my face one more time._

_"Alex... I-I love y-"_

_But then her green eyes turned dull and her arm fell to the wet pavement._

_"Mom!"_

_As I held her lifeless body in my arms I could help but think..._

_It was all my fault._

XXX

I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart racing. I swear..the sweat felt like the rain from that day. My chest heaved and my lungs grasped to air. The sheets I had slept in were tangled and they enclosed my legs in a tight bond. I ran my fingers through my hair and rested my head against the headboard of my bed. I had that nightmare about my mother's death again. I sat in bed awhile longer, then deciding I wouldn't be able to sleep anymore I detached myself from the sheets and stood up.

I took a shower and dressed the best I could for my first day of work. I checked my cellphone and it was only 7:00. Mr. Smith had told us our shift would begin at 9:00, so I waited until my cellphone rang.

I picked it up with a, "Hello?"

"Alex! I'm nervous!" Eren's voice yelled into the phone.

I could hear a ringing in my ears from the sudden outburst.

"God dammit Eren! I almost went deaf!" I snapped.

"Sorry. Why don't I stop by your place and we can go to our first day of work together?" He asked.

"Okay, I'll be here."

We exchanged goodbyes and I set my cellphone on the table. I stood up and went into the kitchen. I poured myself a bowl of cereal and finished eating right when there was a knock on my door. I answered it and Eren stood on the porch, sweating nervously.

"Dude calm down." I said.

Eren rang his fingers through his hair. "Sorry I'm just reall-"

"Really nervous? I know. But manning a cash register isn't that hard." I said.

We left together for _Shiganshina's Finest Bookstore_ , and I guess I'm glad we did.

XXX

_Levi_

I showed up for work today exhausted. I didn't get much sleep last night because of Hangi. Somehow she found out where I lived and she came to visit me.

XXX

_Levi_

_Hangi's visit_

There was a knock on my door. I had been writing an essay and I was just about finished when I heard it. Then I realized as I stood in front of the door...Who would be knocking on my door at 10:00 at night?

When I opened it, my inference was correct. Hangi stood in the doorway with a sappy smile on her face.

"Levi! I didn't know you lived here!" She giggled.

"Yeah, me neither..." I grumbled.

Hangi pushed past me and into the apartment. "Wow! This is...clean." She said. "I knew your locker was very organized but your apartment..."

"Hangi, what are you doing here?" I asked, still holding the door open in a chance that she might leave.

"Levi, close the door, flies might get in." She orderedI groaned and slammed the door shut. Nope, she was saying for a while.

"What are you doing here?" I repeated.

"I was....around." She gave me a grin and I immediately felt uncomfortable.

She ignored me and went to explore my living space. She then noticed the book I had just left on me coffee table.

"Oh my god!" She held the book up to her face and smiled. "You actually went and bought a copy?!"

Honestly, I actually forgot about the book for a little bit. I had forgotten about the book but I _definitely_ remembered what happened after I bought it. I had been planning to read it after I finished my essay today.

"Duh."

She leafed through the pages of the book and her bright eyes met mine. "What part are you on?"

Shit.

I bit my lip and adverted my gaze. "Um I haven't started...."

Suddenly the book hit my face, "What the hell?!"

"You have to read it, Levi!" Hangi yelled, going to pick up the book on the floor.

Then she suddenly stood back up, a crazed look on her face. "Levi, I have an idea!"

Double shit.

"What is it, Hangi?" I asked, uncomfortable once more.

She twirled around the room. "Why don't I just tell you about the book so you don't have to read it?! I have _mad_ summarizing skills!!!"

I shook my head, not wanting to know what was coming. "No, Hangi, that's fine. I can read it b-"

Hangi flopped on the couch, ignoring my protests.

"Okay so it all starts when the _Eotens_ suddenly appeared..."

And that's how I stayed up all night listening about fucking _Eotens_.

XXX

"Levi!"

I finished tying my apron and turned around to acknowledge Mr. Smith.

"Yes sir?"

"Go man the cash register. Hangi should be coming in a few minutes and two newbies later on. You'll be here until noon with them."

He laughed at the reaction on my face.

I hated newbies, they were always messing things up. And I had to stay until noon with them?!

"It's only until noon Levi. I already showed them how to work the cash registers when they were hired yesterday. You can just go and stock the shelves. Hangi will be going to survey people but all of your shifts will end at the same time. More people will come in when you clock out."

He patted my shoulder and smiled. "Well I'll be going now, Levi. Take care!"

"Yes sir!" He left the store and I sagged behind one of the the cash registers.

Damn, Hangi knew how to talk for hours!

A few customers came in and bought some books, and I was occupied with the cash register when I heard Hangi stampede inside the store. She almost rammed into a customer and I laughed as she tried to apologize when the person yelled at her. When the customer finally left she slumped against the wall besides me.

"That'll teach you not to be so enthusiastic to see me." I chuckled.

Hangi's face flushed and I laughed even more. "You know we're getting newbies today right?" I asked, sticking my hands in my pockets of my black jeans and leaning on the wall with her.

Her eyes lit up. "We are?"

I nodded.

Hangi clapped her hands. "Yes! Another opportunity to make friends!"

Then that's when the door to the bookstore opened and the newbies walked in.

XXX

_Alex_

Eren and I walked into the bookstore and immediately he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Rivaille? Hangi?" He asked, looking in the direction of the cash registers.

I followed his gaze and my eyes widened.

Levi was leaning on the wall with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, looking flawless as always. The girl I had seen with him the other day watching me in the student parking lot stood besides him.

"Jaeger?" Levi lifted his eyebrow. "You're the newbies that I have been expecting?"

Eren laughed. "I can't believe you actually work here. And let alone _together_!" He placed his hands in front of him to create a 'picture frame' of Levi and the girl named Hangi together.

I watched as Hangi blushed.

She then grabbed a piece of paper and pen from one of the drawers on the counter where the cash registers rested on. Hangi whispered something in Levi's ear that he smirked at and left the bookstore in a flurry.

Levi walked out to the front of the counter and crossed his arms across his chest. His blue narrow eyes focused on me and my heart fluttered.

"You didn't hit anybody with your car on the way here right?" He asked.

I felt my face heat up and I shook my head. "We walked here."

"Why would you ask him something like that?" Eren asked.

"He hit me with his car once." He responded.

Eren doubled over and laughed. "Wow! Alex! You hit Rivialle with your car?!?! Ha!"

He laughed even more. When he was finished he straightened up and brushed a tear from his eye. "Oh, that's great."

Levi sighed and brushed a strand of his black hair from his face. "I trust you guys know how to work the cash registers?"

We nodded.

Levi's eyes met mine again and I fought the urge to smile. "I'll be stocking the shelves if you need anything. Your aprons should be in the staff room already." And with that he left to another room.

Eren and I went to go get our aprons and we tied each other's with a few jokes about being maids. We stationed ourselves behind the cash registers and waited for customers.

"Eren." Eren turned to face me.

"What?"

"How do you know Levi?" I asked, trying not to sound accusing.

Eren stared out into space and answered silently, "We met each other last year. Mikasa and Armin know him too. I had dropped my stuff after school one day and he helped me pick it up." His sparkling turquoise eyes stared into mine. "That's it."

From the counter I could see Levi stocking the shelves, placing books in their order quietly and quickly. I couldn't explain how I felt about him, it's as if my heart jumped every time he looked at me.

Could I be developing... _feelings_ for him?

Then the door opened and a customer came in.

"Oh god. I'm totally going to screw this up." Eren groaned, placing his head in his hands.

"Wait, maybe they're not going to buy anything." I hoped.

But my hopes were crushed when the customer came up to me with a few books in her hands.

 _"Please go to Eren. Please go to Eren."_ I pleaded silently in my head.

But she came towards me and I cursed under my breath.

I gave her a shaky smile and took her book and scanned them.

 _"Okay this isn't so bad right?"_ I thought.

I told the customer the amount she had to pay and she swiped her credit card on the machine. I fumbled with the buttons as I tried to complete the transaction.

"No, not like that." I felt someone come behind me and I recognized it as Levi.

I blushed as he took my hand in his and showed me what buttons to press. The receipt printed and I bagged the books for the customer with Levi watching behind me. The customer thanked us and left.

"Way to go Alex!" Eren snickered besides me.

"Shut up Eren." I said, placing my elbows on the counter and covering my face with my hands.

Someone went in front of the counter and pried my hands off my face. I stared into Levi's eyes and he smiled softly at me.

"You weren't that bad for your first time." He said.

I shrugged.

Levi went back to stocking the shelves and Eren and I continued to watch out for customers. And without another incident, our shifts were finally over. We clocked out and hung our aprons in the staff room. Hangi eventually came back and clocked out along with Levi. Some more workers came and Eren and I left the bookstore with Levi and Hangi right behind us. Eren and I were about to walk home when Levi's voice stopped us.

"Jaeger, Alex."

We turned around to see him gazing at us intently.

"Hangi and I are going to go get something to eat, want to come with?" He asked.

Eren suddenly slung his arm across my shoulders.

My eyes widened as he said "Nah, we got other plans."

Levi looked at me, his eyebrow raised. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I said awkwardly.

Levi nodded and he and Hangi walked away together. Eren and I watched them go and until they were out of sight was when he finally let his arm drop from my my shoulders with a sigh.

"Eren?" His turquoise eyes met mine and he smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry Alex. It's just..." His voice dropped to a whisper. "I don't like the way he looks at you."

I laughed. "You don't like the way he looks at me?"

He nodded.

"Also that holding-your-hand-thing and touching you randomly....I didn't like it."

I smiled and patted his shoulder. "It's fine. It's just the way he is." I tried to remember the way he acted with me before. "I think."

He grunted and we made our way back home silently.

Was Eren... _jealous_?!

XXX

_Levi_

I sighed as soon as we were out of sight of the two newbies. I turned to Hangi and smiled, "What did you think of Alex?"

Hangi was quiet.

I furrowed my brows. "Hey, dork, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." She answered.

"What did you think of the boy Hangi?" I asked again.

"He was...different from what I imagined." She replied.

"What, did you expect him to spill his secrets the moment we showed him our faces? You have to have patience." I said patting the taller girl's shoulder.

"Yeah, you're right."

We stopped in front of a diner and I glanced at Hangi.

"You want to go in and eat something?" I asked.

"Yeah."

We went inside and ordered some food. We sat down to eat and in the middle of our meal, Hangi burst out laughing.

"Hey, what are you laughing at?" I asked.

She ignored me and continued to laugh.

"Hey!" I threw a French fry at her.

She stopped laughing long enough to gasp, "Levi, I just noticed....you're _really_ short!"

My face fell and she laughed even more.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi you guyss! Thank you so much for reading! I really appreciate it ^-^   
> For the next few days I won't be able to post anything, so bear with me ;A; Enjoy this short-ish chapter and I'll post a long chapter in a week or so!  
> Thanks and enjoy~

 " _Guys_! You won't believe it! Rivialle and Hangi are working at Shiganshina's Finest Bookstore with us!" Eren exclaimed.

Armin laughed, "Seriously?"

I nodded, "Yeah I didn't expect it."

Armin narrowed his eyes, "Wait, you weren't with us when we met them. Alex, how do you know them?"

Eren laughed, "Get this...He hit Rivialle with his car!"

"No way!" Armin snorted.

"It's true." I shrugged.

"Is it because he's such a shortie that you didn't see him...or?" Mikasa asked.

"No it was after Jean's party. He was walking in the middle of he road and I accidentally hit him." I explained.

"What was he doing coming from Trost at that time?" Eren asked.

I shrugged again. "Why would I ask? I don't really want to know what he does with his spare time."

"Or do you?" Armin waggled his eyebrows.

I blushed and stammered, "I-I n-", when Eren interrupted firmly, "He doesn't. Let's just drop it."

Mikasa gave Eren a curious glance but he avoided it.

XXX

_Levi_

_At lunch_

"So we know how we can get him to talk, now what?" I asked Hangi.

Hangi rested her head in her hands. "I wish I knew."

Then suddenly she perked up. "You know what?! We should make a book club!"

I raised my eyebrow. "Hangi, how old are you? Book clubs are for old ladies who just want to gossip and need an excuse to do it."

"No! The book that we could read is  _Eoten(a) Onslaught_!" Hangi pulled the copy of the book out of her bag and shoved it in my face.

I gently pushed the book out of my face, "I don't think people will be able to tolerate having to listen about _Eotens_ for hours on end like I have."

"I'm not going to talk about _Eotens_ for hours, Levi." She wagged her finger at me.

"I only make an exception for you, because you're special!" Hangi winked and I rolled my eyes.

"We'll ask Eren and Alex if they want to join our 'book club' next time we have a shift together then!" Hangi declared.

I sighed.

I never will escape those _Eotens_.

XXX

_Alex_

_After school_

Eren and I walked to work today after school for our shifts. It was very nice of Mr. Smith to always have us work together. We walked into the bookstore only to have someone jump on my back.

"Hey!" I yelled.

The person wrapped their legs around my hips and I staggered with the sudden weight.

The person stuck a book in my face and screamed, "Join our book club!!"

I recognized the voice belonging to Hangi.

"What the hell?!" I shouted.

I couldn't see with the book blocking my vision and I bumped into a bookcase.

"Careful there! Do you want to join?!?! We're reading _Eoten(a) Onslaught_!!" She squealed, ignoring my protests.

I recognized the title of the book as the one Levi had with him he night I hit him with my car.

I tried to pry the older girl off of me, "Agh! Hangi get off of me!". 

She was still holding the book to my face and I bumped my head against the wooden bookcase. I let out a startled cry and Hangi and I fell to the floor in a heap. 

Hangi immediately sat up on my back and whispered in my ear, "Do you want to join?", still not done tormenting me about the stupid book club.

I groaned in response as somebody across the room hollered, "Hangi get off the poor boy!"

"Aw, Levi you're no fun!" She whined as she stood up, straightening her back.

I sat up and rubbed my head, wincing. My vision was foggy and when Eren knelt in front of me it looked like there were two pairs of those sparkling turquoise eyes.

"Alex, are you okay?" He asked. 

"I'm fine." I lied.

I'm pretty sure I felt blood as I massaged my scalp, but I would burden anybody with my wellbeing. 

I felt someone stand over me and click their tongue. "Don't lie. I can see the blood trickling down your face." He scolded. 

"He's bleeding?!" Eren screeched; I stood up shakily. 

"I'm fine, you guys don't have to worry about me!" I tried to stay balanced but I toppled over onto one of the Eren's. I pressed my wounded head onto his chest and I started seeing stars.

"You're not fine Alex! Stop lying!" Eren hollered. 

"Hangi! Look what the fuck you did to the kid!" Levi growled.

"Let's just sit him down somewhere!" Eren yelled. 

I felt my knees buckle and I almost fell to the floor when I was scooped up into somebody's arms.

"Hey! Levi! That's not necessary! I can carry him!" I heard Eren protest. 

"You're not strong enough, Jaeger. I'm taking him to the staff room." Levi lamented. 

I shook in his arms as he carried me away from a disgruntled Eren. I leaned my head against Levi's chest. He smelled like.....Levi. I couldn't describe it in my state, but it just smelled...like him. His scent; it was intoxicating. 

"Oi, brat...are you sniffing me?" He asked, amusement sparkling in his eyes.

I blushed and nodded. 

He laughed and his chest vibrated, making me jump. 

We made it into a small room with a couch and he laid me down on it. I felt like the light was absolutely blinding in here; I squinted and my eyes watered. 

"Alex!" Eren stood over me, his worried face covering me from the light. "Are you okay?!" 

"Jaeger! Just leave him alone! He's not okay, can't you see that?! God dammit!" Levi yelled.

Eren looked hurt but didn't move from his position, blocking me from the light. 

"Sit him up Jaeger." Eren complied and helped me to sit up on the couch.

I watched as Levi opened a medical kit and rolled out some bandages. 

He kneeled in front of me and wrapped it around my head. "There, that should do the trick." He stood up and patted my shoulder. 

Eren shot daggers at him as his hand left contact with my skin. 

"You should stay with him, Jaeger. He probably needs to go to a doctor. It's just a concussion, though." Levi left the room and I closed my eyes. 

"Alex, you should probably lay back down." Eren said, easing my shoulders as I fell lightly against the soft cushion. 

I noticed a stain on his shirt and recognized it as my blood. "Shit, sorry Eren." I winced.

"For what?" He asked. 

"Your shirt." I pointed at the stain and he laughed.

"It's fine. Only _you_ would worry about something as little as this then your own problems." 

I smiled and reached my hand up to touch Eren's cheek. "Thanks Eren, for everything." 

He took my hand in his and squeezed it in reassurance, smiling. 

"Okay _lovebirds_ , enough of that and let's get Alex to the hospital." We jumped, startled by Levi's sudden entrance.

"But I don't have my car." I blurted.

"We're using Hangi's. It _is_ her fucking fault." Levi leaned against the doorway and rolled his eyes. "Sorry about her. She _is_ really crazy." 

"It's okay." I tried sitting up but Eren stopped me.

"Stop, I'll carry you to the car." He said. 

He shot Levi a look. "And _I_ can do it." 

He lifted me from the couch and Levi led us to Hangi's car which was parked outside. Hangi was already behind the steering wheel and Eren laid me gently inside the backseat. He slid inside and I rested my head against his lap. Levi climbed in the passenger's seat and we set off towards the hospital. There was silence in the car, and I jumped as Hangi drove through potholes. 

Then Hangi broke the silence, "So...about the book club..." 

"Shut the fuck up Hangi!"


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi you guys!! Thank you so much for reading!! This is kind of a boring chapter ;A; but I'll have an exciting one soon!  
> On another note I will be fixing up Chapter 7, more importantly the part where Alex's mom dies. I'll be including more important details soon, so go check that out!   
> Otherwise..   
> Enjoy~

 XXX

_Levi_

Eren, Hangi, and I waited in the waiting room of the hospital while Alex was being checked up. Eren sat by himself near the door that Alex had been sent in and tapped his foot impatiently and checking the clock every few seconds, as if willing to make time go faster. He occasionally took out his phone and texted someone, then shoved it back I his pocket whie he continued the nerve-wracking cycle. I stood besides him with Hangi, my arms folded across my chest.

It's not that I wasn't worried; it's just that I wasn't being an overprotective father like Eren. I knew it wasn't a life-or-death situation and I found it rather annoying for Eren to be so worried.

"Hey kid." I eventually said.

Eren turned to look at me, his eyes glimmering with a hint of exasperation.

"What?" He spat.

I rolled my eyes, "He's not going to die, I hope you know that."

"I know he's not going to die, but can't I just be a little worried for my best friend?!" He snapped.

"It doesn't look like you're best friends!" I retorted.

That made Eren stop and his face flush.

He clenched his fist and spun around angrily, ignoring me.

"Why do you care?" He finally said a few moments later, "Why do you want to know about our relationship?"

_Did I really care about Eren's and Alex's relationship?_

"I don't care about you guys. What really ticks me off is you being an overprotective Carebear."

Eren grunted and spun around again.

Then that's when Alex walked out of the doors and told us that he as fine and that we could just take him back home.

XXX

_Alex_

The drive home was quiet. Nobody felt like talking, and I felt as if the angst was suffocating me. When we stopped in front of my house I was grateful to escape the mood. I jumped out of the car and stumbled once I remembered my coordination still wasn't that great.

Eren followed me and exited the car,"Alex! Let me walk you in."

"I'm fine!" I called back as I trudged up the sidewalk.

I heard a Levi mutter something to Eren and then I remembered I had to thank him and Hangi.

"Oh! Levi! Hangi!" I yelled, hoping they could hear me, "Thank you!"

I tried to smile, but my facial muscles didn't want to cooperate and it probably looked more like a grimace. But they would understand what I was trying to do anyways.

I turned back around and started walking back up the sidewalk again. Then suddenly I was swept off my feet and thrown over someone's back. They started to walk up the sidewalk and the ground swooned.

I screamed, "What the f-!", then I recognized the broad shoulders and messy brown hair as Eren's.

"Eren! Stop!"

"Just shut up! I'm trying to help you!" Eren yelled back.

I grunted as he pushed open my front door. Then I remembered I forgot to lock it this morning.

"Eren, take me to my bedroom." I ordered.

He nodded and the motion jiggled me on his shoulder. He walked through the hallway and I couldn't help but remember that in this hallway my grandma had died. I shook the thought away as Eren tossed me gently on my bed.

I sighed at the sudden familiar comfort of the bed I had felt safe in before multiple times.

I stood up and tried to undo the bedspread but tripped over it instead.

"Let me help you." Eren came up behind me and finished the job for me.

I climbed in bed with my clothes still on; there was no way I was changing into my pajamas in front of Eren. My eyelids felt heavy as soon as my exhausted head hit the pillow.

Eren leaned over me and tucked me in with the bedspread.

I tried to make out the words, "Thank you Eren." but my mouth couldn't keep up with my brain and instead I kind of gurgled.

Eren just pressed a finger to my lips and smiled, "Goodnight Alex."

I drifted away and the last thing I felt was his lips on my forehead.

XXX

_Levi_

I leaned against the window of Hangi's car and a thought suddenly came to my mind.

"Hangi?" I asked, all of my senses on high alert.

"Yes?" She responded.

Hangi had been really quiet this entire time and it was starting to freak me out.

_Maybe she was just feeling guilty?_

"Who is manning the store?" I turned to face her, expecting to see her face in a mask of horror as she realized that nobody had taken care of the customers.

But her face was indifferent as she shrugged, "I got Moblit to take care of it."

I furrowed my brows, "What kind of _fucking_ name is _Moblit_?!"

"A name you douchebag!" She yelled.

I laughed at her reaction, "Is this ' _Moblit_ '", I made apostrophe marks with my fingers in the air,"your _lover_?"

I smirked as she smacked my arm and laughed.

"Stop Levi!" She giggled.

I sensed movement outside of the car and saw Eren approaching us.

He stopped outside my window and made the motion for me to roll it down. "What is it brat?" I asked.

"You guys can go on ahead...I'm going to stay with Alex." He panted.

He had obviously run from the house to the car and sweat was glistening on his forehead in the moonlight.

"What? So you can fool around with him while he sleeps? _Hell_ no!" I yelled and leaned over to the backseat and propped open the backseat door.

"Get in brat." I ordered.

Eren shook his head. "Alex lives alone and I don't want anything to happen to him."

_Alex lived alone?_

_Hm...was is possible that the reason he played at the cemetery was because a relation of his died and that's his way of mourning?_

I scoffed. "Making phony excuses now, hm?"

I felt my blood boiling as I watched Eren turn around and head back to the house.

_Why was I getting so upset because he wanted to stay?_

_Was I the one becoming overprotective?_

_No, I was just being....considerate._

"Eren!" I yelled, "Get your fucking ass in the car or I will fucking f-"

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Levi...just let him go." Hangi said firmly.

"B-But..." I stared at Hangi, feeling betrayed.

"Let him go." She repeated.

I glared outside at Eren standing in the middle of the sidewalk.

I closed my eyes and sighed. I rolled up the window and Hangi drove us away from Alex's house.

I was still angry when I was back alone in my apartment, staring at the ceiling.

I pounded the mattress of my bed in frustration,imagining what Eren could be doing with Alex....

I shook my head.

_Stop it, Levi._

_Why are you suddenly being very overprotective of that green-eyed brat?_

_Eren has known him longer than you have, so stop it!_

_You're not in...love with him are you?_

_All of those times when you touched him...you felt electricity right?_

_You felt a spasm in your heart, right?_

_Is that what people call **love**?_

_You haven't felt that since....since Petra right?_

**No..**

**Not so soon.**

_I thought I would never get over her...not so easily anyways..._

_But why **him**? _

_Of all people it had to be him?!_

_The guy with secrets flying everywhere!_

_Why?!?!_

_Why him?!?!_

Godammit!!

I sat up in bed and pounded the mattress again.

"Screw this shit!" I yelled.

"Fuck you Alex!!!"

I flicked off the ceiling and flopped back on the bed.

_Fuck you..... for making me feel this way._

There was no way I was going to sleep tonight.

XXX

Alex

I woke up in the morning, the world not spinning anymore. It was a good change for once. I yawned and stood up, looking at myself in the full-length mirror. My clothes I had slept in were wrinkled as hell and my hair was really messed up. I suddenly felt a desperate growl from my stomach, and I remembered I didn't have any dinner. I exited my room, prepared to have a gigantic breakfast-feast when my nose met an aroma.

_Bacon?_

I walked into the kitchen to find Eren slaving over the kitchen, frying bacon.

"Wh-hat...?" I rubbed my eyes; was I hallucinating?

He turned around and smiled at me and pointed at the table.

"Sit." He ordered.

I gulped and obliged as he slid a plate in front of me.

I immediately scarfed it down, shoveling a lot of food into my mouth.

Eren sat across from me, propping his head up with his hand and smiling.

When I was finished I leaned back in my chair and sighed in content.

"Was it good?" He asked.

I nodded and wiped my moth with my hand and sat up.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"I stayed with you while you slept, in case something happened. And then I decided to make you breakfast." He responded.

He stood up and took my empty plate to the sink, then began washing it.

"Are you feeling okay?"

I nodded again then I realized it was Thursday.

"Eren aren't we supposed to be at school?" I asked, a smile dancing on my lips.

Eren turned around, hiding his hands in the sink.

"Fuck school!" He yelled and flicked soap suds on me.

The suds landed on me face and I glared at him.

Then I ran over to the sink and flicked some on his chest, laughing.

We immediately began to have a soap-suds-fight and immediately the kitchen was immersed in them.

When we were finished with our ' _fight_ ',we stood in the only non-sud-contaminated spot of the kitchen and stared at the destruction we caused.

"Well...fuck." I laughed as I bent down and started to clean up the mess.

"Ha! Sorry about this." Eren apologized.

"Nah, it's fine."

He bent down and helped me clean up the mess.

We cleaned in silence for a few minutes until Eren started humming. I smiled at the sound of him being happy. After we finished cleaning we retired to the couch and watched sappy TV reruns and laughed and talked.

We did this for the remainder of the day until the doorbell rang.

XXX

_Levi_

_At lunch_

"Hey Hangi?"

"Hm?" She wiped her mouth on a napkin and raised her eyebrows.

I traced the patterns on the table and raised my eyes to hers awkwardly.

"Did you hear what Eren said last night?" She was quiet as she remembered the events of last night.

"No." She eventually said.

"Eren said Alex lived _alone_." I lingered on the last word.

"So what?" She asked, crossing her arms.

"Maybe the reason he lives alone is because his family died. And maybe he mourns at the graveyard by playing his cello!" I reasoned.

Hangi dwelled on the proposal and perked up. "Maybe!"

Then she deflated again. "But you also live alone...."

"True..."

We sat in silence, trying to figure things out.

"You think he's in school today?" I asked.

"I wouldn't be here if I just had a concussion yesterday..." Hangi pointed out.

"Hm..true. We should visit him today." I said, trying to hide my face as I felt it grow hot.

I wanted to check to see if my feelings for him were sure...

_Did I truly love him?_

"Yes!" Hangi punched her arm in the air.

"Then the first meeting of the book club can commence!!" She squealed in glee.

I laughed and smiled.

_Did I truly love him?_


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi you guys!! Sorry for the late update, but to make up for it I made a really long chapter for you guys!! I kind of pulled an OHSHC in it, hehehe ^-^   
> I hope you guys enjoy~

_Alex_

XXX

I got up from the couch to answer the door and when I opened it to find Levi and Hangi standing on my porch. Levi was holding a bouquet of flowers and awkwardly thrusted them at me as his face reddened.

"We're...sorrry." He muttered, yanking his hand back and scratching the back of his head as soon as I took the flowers from him.

"Um...thanks?" I smiled, laughing softly.

Eren came up behind me and snatched the flowers from my hands. He sniffed them and then glared at the uncomfortable Levi.

"They're from both of us!" Hangi cheerily exclaimed, trying to break the silence as we stood staring at one another awkwardly.

"Um...please come in." I said, opening the door wider to let them in.

But the door didn't move no matter how hard I pushed because Eren had suddenly placed his foot in front of the door.

"Eren!" I protested, trying to shove his foot out if the way.

"Are you sure you want them to come in?" He asked, trying to keep his voice calm, despite all of the anger I heard behind the words.

"Yes Eren! I want them to come in! This is my house! You're being rude!" I spat.

I managed to successfully push Eren out of the way and let Hangi and Levi into the foyer. I took the bouquet of flowers from Eren and told the others to make themselves comfortable in the living room while I went to go get a vase for the flowers.

When I came back I found Levi and Eren glaring at each other and Hangi fidgeting nervously. I sat down besides Eren and placed my hands in my lap.

"Sooo...." I said awkwardly.

Hangi smiled at me and took something out of the bag she was carrying.

"We were hoping that this could be the first meeting of our book club!" She exclaimed.

My face fell and Levi muttered, "Goddammit Hangi."

I smiled weakly, "But I didn't read the book."

"Yeah, neither did I." Eren added.

Hangi jumped up and nearly toppled over the coffee table with a glint of something I couldn't recognize as malice or excitement in her eye. "Then I'll just tell you about it!"

Levi pulled on her arm to sit her back down, "You dork! Sit back down before you massacre that poor lump of wood."

"Hey, that was my grandma's!" I defended.

Levi grunted and turned to me, "You have to admit it's pretty ugly, though."

I shrugged and stared at the scratched and wobbly piece of furniture.

Hangi had sat back down and was currently flipping through the pages of the book she had taken out of her bag. I craned my neck to look at the title of the book and found it was the same one she had shoved in my face yesterday: _Eoten(a) Onslaught_.

_Why, whenever I see that book, Hangi or Levi is always in possession of it?_

_That's strange._

Hangi lifted her face slowly from the book and I heard Levi mumble: "Whoop, here she goes again. Ugh, it's going to be hours."

Hangi's voice automatically deepened as she recited the words from the book as if she knew them by heart:

_Hundreds of years ago.....Man-eating giants appeared that the people named...the Eotens..._

She was about to continue when Levi slapped her thigh. "Dammit Hangi! Stop talking like fucking Morgan Freeman!"

Eren and I laughed at this and Hangi continued.

Levi groaned and put his face in his hands, as if he was annoyed by every word that came out of a Hangi's mouth.

I had spaced out by then, thinking about how I hadn't practiced in a while or payed my respects.....

"Alex!"

I immediately jerked up, my eyes wide open with fear.

"Huh?"

Hangi's face lit up, "Do you have any questions? I think what I read to you was enough for our first meeting."

I shook my head and wondered for how long he book club meeting had lasted. They had arrived here about the time school ended, soooo....

I looked at the clock and found it was already 6:00.

Wow, Hangi knew how to ramble.

"Eren! Do you have any questions?" Hangi asked.

I snapped my head to the side and found Eren sitting besides me. I had actually forgotten he was here. He was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees and his hands on his face. When he lifted his face I swear I saw something in his eyes, swimming in the turquoise ocean.

"I want to learn more about the _Eotens_." He responded, his jaw fixed and his eyes turning to steel. His face twitched and I noticed how hard he was clenching his hands. His knuckles were turning white and I took his hand in mine and massaged them, noticing how clammy they were.

"Eren, are you okay?" I asked.

I was worried about him, and it was a good thing he gave me a chance to. He was always so worried about _me_ and now the tables had turned. It looked like he was in pain as his hard gaze turned to mine. I jumped at the sudden movement and some loose strands of hair fell in my eyes.

His hands brushed through my hair and he smiled, pain hiding behind his fake smile. "I'm fine."

He pulled his hand away from mine and I felt hurt. I gulped and looked to Hangi and Levi; Hangi looking as if she was hyperventilating and Levi staring daggers at me.

_Had they been watching Eren and I?_

_'Duh Alex!' I thought to myself. 'They're in the same fucking room!'_

 I flushed and Hangi suddenly found her breath again.

"You..w-want to l-learn more about the... _Eotens_?!" Hangi gasped, clutching her chest and acting as if she ran a mile.

Eren nodded and she squealed in glee. She pounced on Eren and I struggled to get away from the mass of flailing limbs.

I stood up and Hangi took my spot, holding Eren's hands in hers.

"I wanted to know more about the _Eotens_ when I first heard about the book too!!!" She shouted.

"So, I researched about the _Eotens_ , and found out that they lacked sexual organs! I thought this was interesting so I researched some more, then I found out th-" Hangi continued but I felt a tugging on my wrist.

Levi stood next to me and gestured to the door. "We should get out of here, I don't think you want to hear about _Eotens_ for another 4 hours, right?" He asked.

I shook my head and he led me out of the room. We made it to the kitchen, finally away from Hangi's excited talking.

Levi leaned against the kitchen counter and I stood there awkwardly, noticing I was alone in a room with a boy I found more than attractive.

"Hm....do you want something to drink?" I asked, taking two mugs from the cabinet.

"Um,do you have tea?" He asked.

I nodded and took out the tea bags my grandma used to drink.

I remembered coming to visit her when I was younger and drinking the tea together on rainy days. I gazed at the kitchen table, replaying memories of talking and laughing with my grandma, occasionally sipping tea from my chipped mug.

I swear I could see the ghosts of our former selves, still drinking the tea at the kitchen table.

Looking at the tea bags sent a pang in my heart and I hesitated about using them. But then I realized that it was what Levi wanted and I glanced to him slightly, then at the tea bags, then at him again.

He looked angelic leaning against the counter, like he was made to lounge in my kitchen. He was staring outside the window, a look on his face I've never seen before.

Then he noticed me staring at him and stared back.

My face heated up as he asked, "Is there something wrong with my face?"

I squeaked and held up my hands, waving them at the air, as if I was trying to brush away my awkwardness. "N-Noo! Y-You're face is...fine." 

I held out the tea bags, "I just wanted to see if you would like these!"

He glanced at them for a moment and nodded.

I sighed in relief.

Then I realized I told him his face was _"fine"._

_God what the hell was wrong with me?!_

I proceeded  to make the tea and when I was finished I poured it into two mugs.

I didn't notice which mugs I had chosen until I was looking at them.

I felt my eyes well up with tears as I realized that I had grabbed the two mugs automatically, my own chipped cup and my grandma's. It was as if my grandma and I were having tea again.

I wiped at my eye with my sleeves and hoped Levi didn't notice. I walked over to him and handed him his cup, not looking at his face. I sat down at my usual spot at the table and stared into space.

I sipped my tea, imagining my grandma at the opposite side of the table.

"Alex..are you okay?" Levi asked.

I snapped out of it and looked at him with a questioning glance.

Was I spacing out again?

_I forgot I had company....whoops._

"Sorry...I'm still kind of out of it." I apologized.

I stood up from my place at the table, tucking my chair in.

I stood next to Levi and he scowled at me. "Go ahead and tell your overprotective boyfriend that, he'll go bananas."

Levi took a gulp from his tea, and I noticed the way he held his mug was odd. His fingers gripped the rim of the cup and a panic rose in me.

I could already imagine it... the mug smashing against the tile; the only mug my grandma used....

"Levi, you have a tight grip on that mug right?" I asked, hoping the panic wasn't visible in my eyes and voice.

He looked at me funny and nodded.

"Please don't break that mug!" I blurted.

He raised his eyebrow and nodded while turning away, "I'll make sure not to."

I sighed and turned away from him also, our backs facing each other. He looked out the window again and mumbled, "Looks like a storm is coming."

_A storm._

I followed his eyes out the window and my blood froze again for the second time that night.

Then that's when the thunder sounded.

It's sound ricocheted in my chest and I heard it bounce off my ribs, and I knew it was hollow.

I was paralyzed and the only thing I could see was the gathering gray, ominous clouds and my mother's dead and bloody corpse.

Then I ran.

I slammed the mug on the table as I made my escape from the window, the unfinished tea sloshing over my hand.

I could hear Levi calling after me but all I knew was that I had to get away from that kitchen, from the thunder, from the lighting that would soon follow, from the storm.

_From the memories._

The lightning crashed and illuminated the hallway, then I saw my grandma's corpse slumped in the hallway.

I tripped over her dead body and gripped the wall for support as I tried hard not to scream.

Then the hallway was dark again and the hallway was empty.

_I had to get away._

I ran into my dark bedroom and shuddered as I heard the thunder again.  I unfurled the unmade sheets from my bed and draped them over my shoulders. Then I threw myself into the closet and closed the doors, trying to get away, to get away from this living nightmare.

_From the haunting memories._

XXX

_Levi_

I stared at the abandoned mug on the table, trying to process what just happened:

_Alex ran away once he heard the thunder, did that mean something?_

He told me not to break the mug that I am currently holding, but he told me it was his grandma's.

Keyword is _was_.

That must mean his grandma isn't alive anymore.

_So that old woman who used to pick Alex up, recently died?_

_Fresh, raw wounds._

Did the thunder remind Alex of his grandma?

I decided to go and check where Alex ran off to. I left my mug besides Alex's, smiling as I noticed how well they complimented each other.

One, Alex's, was a dull pink with two white stripes surrounding the rim.

Mine, or her grandmother's, was a faded green with the same two white stripes around the rim.

_How nice._

I left the kitchen and followed the path that Alex took. The hallway only led to 3 rooms: two rooms on the right and left side and one at the end.

I decided to check the room on the right and knocked on the door and opened it. I looked inside and found it was an ordinary bedroom. The walls were a bright purple and I decided that this couldn't be Alex's. The furniture in the room was dusty, but not too dusty to be a year's old work.

_Could this be the grandmother's room?_

I closed the door after checking under the bed and in the closet to see if Alex was hiding in there.

I checked the room on the left and found it was a bathroom. I checked behind the shower curtain and found that Alex wasn't there either.

I closed the door and faced the door at the end of the hall.

This had to be Alex's room.

There weren't any other places Alex could have gone to where he wanted to be alone. His bedroom; nobody would interrupt his private sanctuary.

_Except for me._

I knocked on the door and opened it, calling out, "Alex?"

His room was an ordinary teenage boy's room, kind of messy but not a pig's stein. I itched to clean up the room, but I remembered that I was looking for a distraught teenager. It stumped me that the sheets had been taken off the bed and I looked around to see if he was huddled in a corner or something.

But the only thing in the corner was a key clue:

_His cello._

I decided that examining it would have to come later and I repeated, "Alex?"

I looked at the floor and found white sheets peeking out of the closet. I wrapped my fingers around the handle of the closet doors, and took a deep breath, afraid of what I might find in there.

Then I swung the doors open as lightning flashed. The sudden light illuminated the closet, showing a huddled figure covered in white sheets.

_Alex._

"Alex?" I leaned down and tried to look at his face.

I reached out to take the sheets off of him when he gripped my wrist, stopping me from doing so.

"D-Don't!" He exclaimed, trembling.

"Alex, what's wrong?" I asked.

He ignored me and tried to hide himself deeper into the closet.

"N-Nothing...G-Go a-a-way." He stammered.

Then the thunder sounded and he jumped.

He quivered and I noticed the tear stains on the sheets.

_He was scared of thunder and lightning._

_Or more or less...the storm!_

"You're scared of the storm...aren't you?" I asked, solemnly.

He didn't answer me and tried to burrow himself deeper into his hole of fear.

I gripped his shoulders and swung myself next to him, preventing him from trying to shrink himself from my prying eyes.

"L-Levi?"

I wrapped my arms around him and he gasped.

He tried to resist my grip but I was too strong.

"You shouldn't face your fear alone." I answered.

With those words he stopped resisting and embraced me, the sheet falling away from his body as he stretched his arms around my abdomen.

He clutched the back of my shirt, shuddering and crying in my arms. I just patted his back, running my fingers through his bronze locks, trying to comfort him.

Lightning illuminated the room and he sobbed and I pushed him closer to me, and I knew he needed me. 

_But he didn't need how much I needed him too._

I needed him in my arms and I knew my heart would break if he were ever to leave them. It felt natural for us to be in this position, me leaning agains a closet wall while he hung on to me for dear life. His arms fit around my abdomen perfectly, and so did my arms around his back. I realized at that moment that we were made for each other.

_And that this confirmed my suspicions._

 

We stayed in that position together for a while. I thought about how Hangi must be torturing Eren when I started to dwell on the thought of Petra....

Then my sudden deep thinking was shattered as Alex tried to make out word through his sobs. "L-Levi...I'm not afraid of thunder....o-or lightning....I-I'm not afraid of them."

"Really?" I asked.

"C-Can I tell you something L-Levi?"

I loved the way his tongue rolled out my name. It also felt natural for him to say it; my name needed to be on his lips. His clutch on my shirt weakened and he lifted himself to look at me.

His beautiful green eyes made my knees feel weak and I was afraid of collapsing as they met mine, but I remembered I was sitting on the floor of a closet.

Those emerald eyes were all I needed to say, "Yes, you can tell me anything."

_Anything_

XXX

_Alex_

I looked into Levi's eyes and debated whether telling the truth was alright. I actually wanted to blush because of close we were to each other and how I was practically sitting in his lap.

I took a deep breath and decided to spit it all out.

"Levi, my mother was killed in a hit-and-run during a storm. I was on the other side of the street and I watched her fly through the air and...." I had to pause as tears rolled down my cheeks.

I felt Levi's hand wipe it away and I looked up to see him smile.

He looked great with a smile, he should do it more often.

I took a deep breath and continued.

"She died in my lap. I guess I'm not really afraid of storms. I'm afraid of the...memories. The memories of someone dying in my arms." I felt my voice raising with emotion, but I couldn't stop it.

_I couldn't stop thinking about death, about blood, about the memories..._

"I can't stand the memories anymore. I feel like I'm going to be swallowed whole by my own past!"I yelled, frustrated about how weak I am. 

_Will I ever be strong enough to throw this burden off of my heart?!_

I choked back a sob and Levi just held me tighter.

"I hate seeing you this way." Levi mumbled, and it made me bury my face further into his chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm being ridiculous." I shook my head, more tears coming to my eyes when I realized I was just dragging Levi through my sadness.

I tried to stand up but a crash of thunder made me yelp and I felt Levi wrap his arms around my waist, pulling me back down on his lap.

"You are being ridiculous. I'll help you get through is storm." He muttered in my ear.

"But why?!" I yelled exasperatedly. "Why are you doing this for me?"

Levi sighed. "I want to help you. I-I have memories I don't want to remember also." He paused and looked into my eyes.

"I wish you didn't have to feel this pain. I would take it all away and bear it myself if I could." I buried myself back into his arms when I saw the lightning again.

A cry escaped my lips and Levi held me tighter.

_Why was it that I felt...safe in his arms?_

_Would I feel safe in Eren's arms if this ever happened?_

I hated to admit it, but loved having his arms around me, and I knew I never wanted him to let go.

Then the door to my room flew wide open in sync with the thunder and someone ran inside.

"Alex?!" I heard Eren yell.

He stood in front of Levi and I in the closet and I watched his facial features darken.

"Alex," He looked at Levi and then back at me, "What's going on?!"

I looked at Eren and tried to reason with him and myself, "It's not what it looks like, Eren. Please..."

But Eren moved too quickly to process my words. The next minute Levi's arms were around me and the next he was being dragged out of the closet by the collar of his shirt.

XXX

_Levi_

Eren pulled me out of the closet with more strength than I thought he had. He threw me onto Alex's sheet-less bed and got on top of me.

A year ago I actually would have liked this but I couldn't see the turquoise in his eyes anymore, it's color lost in his fury. 

"What the fuck were you _doing_ together in that closet?!" He yelled.

"Nothing." I mumbled.

Eren's face twisted in rage and he brought his fist down on my face.

"Eren! Stop!" Alex stood up from the closet, only to fall back down to the floor when thunder ripped through the air.

"Alex!" I called out, trying to wrench myself from Eren's grip.

But he punched my face again and I felt blood in my mouth.

"Stop it Eren!" I yelled.

This passionate boy was strong, but no match for me.

One second he was on top of me and the next second he was under me protesting.

I sat on top of Eren's back, using my legs to constrain him and my hands to lock his arms.

He yelled in frustration again and I chuckled. "You're not the only one who knows how to fight, brat."

Eren fumed and ignored my comment, "Why the hell are you so interested in Alex, Levi?"

_Interested?_

_Could he see that?_

_Why does he want to know....?_

Lightning flashed in the room and I heard Alex whimper.

I looked up to see where he was when I was thrown to the wall, my back ricocheting off the hard surface and making me see blurry.

"Levi!" He screamed.

Eren pressed me against the wall, holding my arms up in the air by securing my wrists.

"Don't you _ever_ touch Alex again!" Eren seethed.

Then that's when the door flew open again and Hangi burst into the room, her jaw dropping once she saw the scene she had walked into.

She then quickly walked back out of the room, trying to erase her memory of what just happened, probably.

I found that Eren was staring at Hangi like I was then found it was the perfect opportunity. I kneed him in the groin and he let go of my wrists as he crumpled to the floor in pain.

" _You_ don't tell me what to do, jerk." I rolled my eyes.

Then Eren wrapped his arms around my calves and I fell to the flor with him and he got on top of me once again.

"Eren! Just stop this!" I yelled.

Then that's when I realized that Eren wasn't being overprotective....

_He was jealous!!_

When I realized this I wriggled myself out of his grip and stood up. Eren quickly scrambled up, his fists at the ready.

Then the thunder rippled through the air and Alex cried.

Hearing this, Eren turned around with concern and started to make his way over to him.

But I grabbed his wrist, yanking him back.

 _"Don't you dare touch him! You don't know anything!"_ I yelled.

Eren's eyes widened and I was able to identify the turquoise in his gaze again.

"You're too jealous off your ass to even realize that Alex is afraid of thunder and lightning!!" I yelled, my blood boiling.

Eren's anger dissipated and he turned to stare at Alex, still crumpled on the floor.

I let go of his wrist and Eren ran over to where Alex lay.

"Alex, is that true?" He asked.

Alex sniffed and nodded.

Eren wiped the tears off of Alex's face and embraced him.

Alex reluctantly wrapped his arms around his and burrowed his face in the crook of Eren's neck.

I couldn't help but think...

_Does he think Eren's arms make him feel safe like mine did?_

"I'm so sorry Alex. I didn't know. I'm so sorry.." Eren muttered into Alex's hair. A few tears of his own escaped his eyes, and I wondered if the ocean inside was flooding.

I turned to leave, not wanting to watch the sentimental scene.

As I left the room I watched as Alex's green eyes met mine and followed me out.

I felt them follow me out into the hallway and into the kitchen where Hangi was still recovering.

"What the _fuck_ was that Levi?!" She asked.

"Nothing." I mumbled.

She rolled her eyes, "Mmhmm!"

I laughed and told her I was only comforting Alex when Eren decided to beat the shit out of me.

"Oh, okay. I thought it was," She waggled her eyebrows at me with a smirk "something else."

My face turned crimson. "Goddammit Hangi! It wasn't like that!!"

She doubled over and howled like a Hangi-hyaena.

I punched her arm. "You're such a dork!"

But then my frown wavered and I burst out in laughter.

We stood there and laughed for what seemed like hours, not able to even muster a word without laughing again. We finally stopped, wiping tears from our eyes.

Hangi chuckled a bit more and sighed, our abdomens cramping from the insane laughter. "We should leave, it's getting late." She smiled.

"Yeah." I agreed.

We left the house without another word, with not even a goodbye to Alex and Eren.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi you guys! Sorry it's taking me so long to update ;A;
> 
> Lots of Erelex in this chapter o-O whoops
> 
> It was really dumb of me to try and write two fanfics at the same time xD but I'm really impatient 
> 
> I'll have my other fic updated soon also if you're reading it too ^-^
> 
> This chapter might be a little triggering, so here's a warning.
> 
> Otherwise...
> 
> Enjoy~

Alex

XXX

I watched Levi as he left the room, but then turned back to the muttering Eren in my arms.

To get him to shut up I mumbled, "It's fine Eren, it's nothing."

Eren loosened his bear-grip on me and looked into my eyes. He then shook his head, smiling weakly. "No it's not nothing. I should have known, you're my...." He then looked at the floor and I couldn't mistake the blush creeping onto his cheeks. "You're...important to me, Alex."

I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and nodded.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. Though, I really wish you would get along with Levi." I muttered in his hair.

"Nope! I don't think I'm ever going to." Eren responded flatly.

"Why not? It's annoying that you want to kill every chance you get." I whined.

Eren huffed, "I don't want to kill him every chance I get. It's just today...." He trailed off and I knew Eren well to know that he was biting his lip his thought.

"What was so different about today?" I asked.

"You know what was different about today! It's not everyday I find my best friend and a stranger in a closet together!" He yelled.

"Levi is not a stranger!" I protested.

"Whatever! He had something in his eyes I didn't like!"

"What was it _this time_?" I rolled my eyes.

"There was.... _longing_ in them. And I knew it was directed at you." At this he went quiet, and so did I.

_How could Eren distinguish that emotion in Levi's eyes, when they were so emotionless?_

Eren untangled himself from me, so were sitting across from each other. I noticed the blush still hadn't left his cheeks.

"I could tell it was that because..." He placed his hands on my shoulders and our foreheads touched. His shimmery turquoise eyes were centimeters away and I wondered if I leaned in, if I would fall into the ocean.

"It's the same emotion in my eyes when I look at you. Armin makes fun of it all of the time." He laughed slightly and my eyes widened.

"Eren..." I trailed off, but I didn't get to finish my thought before his lips were on mine.

It caught me off guard,but I didn't pull away. Eren placed his hands on my waist and I threaded mine into his hair. It wasn't long before I was kissing him back, even though this was utterly wrong. Eren was my best friend, but now I couldn't think straight while I was mesmerized by Eren's lips. We finally parted a few moments later to gasp for our much needed breath.

I took this moment to notice our reflections in the mirror. My face was an absolute crimson and my eyes were a bit red and puffy from all of the crying.

Eren looked mostly the same, except I hadn't noticed that his eyes were a bit sunken in, as if he hadn't been sleeping well. I looked at him besides me and watched him stare outside the window.

It reminded me of Levi from earlier today, watching the storm clouds gather as he held my grandma's cup in an odd way. But I noticed there was something different about the way Eren looked out the window from when Levi did. Levi just looked as if he was distracted, but Eren looked determined as he watched droplets cascade down the windowpane.

"It looks like the storm has stopped." Eren noted.

I followed his gaze and found it was true, the rain had stopped and there had been no thunder or lightning for a while.

"Yeah..." I smiled.

The rest of the day was spent having fun. We invited Armin and Mikasa over and we talked and laughed while we watched sappy chick-flicks. Once it was time for them to go home, Eren told Mikasa that he would be staying the night with me again. Once they had left Eren and I retired to my bedroom. Eren looked through the closet and I asked him what he was looking for.

"A blanket so I can sleep on the couch." He responded, taking one from a high shelf and pressing it against his chest.

I shook my head and took the blanket from him and threw it back into the closet. "Don't be silly. We can share my bed."

Eren flushed and scratched the back of his head. "No! I'm fine, I'll just go a-" He turned around and headed into the hallway, but I snatched his wrist.

"No! You're going to sleep with me!" I yelled, spinning him around and throwing him on the bed.

Eren looked back up at me with a blush on his face.

Blush of my own creeped on my cheeks. "And I don't mean it like that, you dork!" 

I made Eren get up from the bed and I made it as quickly as I could, because the blankets were still on the floor from earlier. 

When I was finished I climbed into the bed and patted the other side of it, motioning for Eren to join me. He reluctantly pulled himself under my covers with a grumble.

I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep. 

XXX 

_Alex_

I woke up the sound of people whispering. 

"Aw look at them! This is so cute!" 

"Yeah..." The voices sounded familiar and one of them sounded pained. 

"I'm totally going to post this! Don't tell them or I'll kill you!"

"Um...okay..." 

I opened my eyes slowly as soon as a bright light flashed. 

I cringed and tried to sit up, but arms around my waist prevented me from doing so. My face reddened as I realized what was going on: 

Mikasa and Armin were standing at the foot of my bed, Mikasa had taken a picture of me and Eren. I looked down besides me to find Eren's arms around my waist and that I had been pressed into his chest. 

Had we slept this way?

I so did not remember this!

I succeeded in sitting up and rubbing at my eyes, just to make sure that I wasn't dreaming. 

But I wasn't.

Mikasa and Armin were still in my bedroom and Eren was still sleeping besides me. 

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, my voice hoarse from sleep.

"We came to check up on you guys. And we found you guys being cuddly!" Mikasa smiled and laughed.

I haven't seen her this happy since....well never. 

"I ship it!" She giggled. 

_Ship?_

"Mikasa, I think we should leave them alone..." Armin placed his hand on her shoulder and I could identify so much pain behind his voice and eyes. 

I had forgotten.... God, now I feel really bad. 

"Yeah.." Mikasa agreed.

They turned to leave the room, but Armin turned back around, as if he was forgetting something.

"Oh! Alex! Both you and Eren's phones rang. I answered them, sorry about intruding, but a Mr. Smith said you guys have a shift at 1:00 today." Armin informed me.

"Oh..." I trailed off. 

"Alex?" Armin asked. 

"Yeah?" 

"It's 12:50." 

It didn't fully process in my mind until a few moments later when Armin had left the room and was leaving the house.

I cursed and jumped out of bed.

"Thanks Armin! I need to get ready now! Dammit!" I yelled as I took my clothes to the living room to change. 

There was no way I was changing in front of Eren, even if he was out like a rock.

I quickly changed and ran to wake a Eren up. I jiggled his shoulder and whispered loudly in his ear, "Eren! Wake up! We got a shift in 10 minutes!" He woke up groaning, then he was out of the room in a flash.

He told me he had brought an extra change of clothes and I got ready while he got dressed. 

As soon as he was finished we ran the whole way to get to the shop.

XXX 

_Alex_

"I'm sorry we're late Mr. Smith! We didn't receive your call!" I panted. 

Mr. Smith waved me off, "It's alright. Though, who was the one who answered the phone?" 

"My best friend, Armin." Eren responded. 

Mr. Smith nodded, "Okay, go ahead and get your aprons on. You'll be manning the registers again."

We obeyed Mr. Smith and went to the staff room to put on our aprons. 

We stood behind the cash register for a while without any customers, until the bell chimed as it signaled that the door had opened. 

Levi appeared in front of the registers, peeling his leather jacket off his firm arms and slinging it over his shoulders. 

He smirked at me and I turned away blushing as he went to what I assumed the staff room to get his apron. 

The door chimed again and I greeted the customer.  I was surprised to find Armin and Mikasa walking into the store.

"Hey you guys!" I smiled nervously. "What are you doing here?" 

"We wanted to see how you guys were doing, since we couldn't really this morning." She winked at me and I turned away. 

"Why? What happened this morning?" Eren asked, oblivious as ever.

"We found you guys cuddling together asleep!" Mikasa squealed. 

Eren's face reddened and his eyes widened. "I-I don't remember that." He managed to choke out. 

"How can you not remember? You guys _are_ dating!" Mikasa pointed out.

"Yeah..true." Eren nodded, still awkward.

_Are we really dating?_

_I guess after yesterday it's official._

 

Armin smiled and muttered quietly, "I think I should get going."  And without a response he turned and left. 

My face fell and I followed him, "Armin! Wait!" 

I stopped in my tracks as I realized I was being watched by another person.

Levi stood in the doorway of the staff room, his eyes unreadable. As his eyes met mine, he turned away and I felt my heart break even more. 

I continued on after Armin, trying to ignore what I saw as betrayal shown in Levi's features. 

I caught Armin by the elbow as he was halfway out the door. "Armin, please wait! I need to talk to you!" 

He turned around and sighed. "Fine."

We retreated to the bookshelves and I shook my head. "Armin, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for this to happen." 

Armin shrugged and sighed, "It's fine. Eren likes you Alex, _a lot_. I haven't seen him this happy since his dad left. You're good for him." He smiled sadly and hung his head, "Take care of him for me, alright?" 

And with that he left the store and my heart sagged even more. 

I was ruining the things I loved most. 

XXX 

_Levi_

I turned away from those green eyes back into the storage room, covering my head in my heads.

I was so silly to think that he actually liked me. 

Who would choose someone so broken and lost over someone who seemed to smile as bright as the sun? 

He had a life, he had friends who cared for him. 

Who did I have? 

I had a titan obsessor, though she isn't bad. 

Was it bad for me to feel betrayed? 

We never had anything to begin with, so why did I feel so empty?

Why do I feel as if this is another Petra and Auruo incident?

I went to the storage room and picked up boxes, these lonely and depressing thoughts filling my mind as I practically threw the books into the shelves.

Work helps clear the mind, so I worked as hard as I could, so I didn't have to think about Alex and Eren and the similarities with Petra and Auruo.

When I was finishing my 7th box my phone rang. I cursed as I tried not to lose my footing on the ladder as I fished through my pocket for my cellphone.

"Yes, Hangi?" I muttered, knowing she was the only one who would call me when I was at work.

"Levi! Meet me at the diner next to the bookstore!" She shouted, making my ears ring. "Oh, and bring Alex and Eren too!" 

I winced at the sound of the two names, "No, just the two of us will be fine." 

"Haaah?" Hangi's stubborn voice echoed over the phone. "Why don't you want them to come?!" 

"Because I...just don't okay?!" I sighed.

Hangi huffed and hung up. 

I shoved my phone in my pocket and went back to work. A few minutes later the door chimed and I heard and obnoxious "Yo!"

I hopped off the ladder to find Hangi leaning against the cash register's counter. 

"So are you guys up for some grub after your shift?" She slurred casually, glancing behind her shoulder and smirking. 

I rolled my eyes and muttered, "Goddammit Hangi."

Eren smiled and nodded, "That sounds like fun, sure."

Hangi smiled. "Of course, you're going to have to deal with Mr. Grouch over there." She jabbed at me.

I furrowed my brows. "Hey!" 

The three laughed and I scowled.

I went back to stocking the shelves and tried to ignore the chattering between the three of them. 

When did they suddenly become best friends?! 

Where have I been? 

Was I always stuck in my fantasies where only Alex and I existed that I forgot about reality? 

 When my shift ended I hung up my apron and tried to leave the shop before Hangi could notice.  But she wasn't letting me go easily. I was halfway out the door when I felt a tug on the collar of my T-shirt. 

"Where do you think you're going, Mr. Grouch?" She chimed.

"Ugh, can't you just let me go home?!" I whined. 

"Nope! C'mon, let's go eat!" 

She let go of me and I crossed my arms across my chest. 

Hangi made for the diner and I followed close behind her, trying to ignore the two brats behind me.

Hangi chose a corner booth, that damned bitch, so I was forced to look at everyone at the table. We ordered our food and I made a plan to eat my food fast so I could get the heck out of there. I tried to tune out the conversations the three idiots were having but eventually I was forced to listen.

"I'm ravenous! We didn't have breakfast this morning." Alex explained.

"What do you mean _"we"_?" Hangi waggled her eyebrows. 

Eren and Alex flushed and the titan obsessor cackled. "Don't look so embarrassed! We've caught you in the act many times before!" 

I closed my eyes and felt my world crumbling away once more. 

Why was it that as soon as a I heard Alex, my world was rebuilt? 

The one that helped me stand was also the one who made me fall again.

"Look! You're holding hands underneath the table!" Hangi cooed, teasing the two boys. 

I took a quick glance, although I knew it was just going to make me feel worse, and found it was true. 

The two interlocked hands almost made me choke out a sob.

I had to get out of there before I fell apart. 

I scooted out of the booth and abruptly left without a word.

I heard Hangi calling after me but I ignored her. I ran the whole way to my apartment, where I immediately collapsed in the hallway. I was soon lying in a puddle of my own tears and blood, from biting my lip to stop my loud sobs from escaping. 

_Why did this always have to keep getting heartbroken?_

_Did I not deserve to be happy?_

_Maybe if I cried some more, I could drown myself in a puddle of my own tears._

_Petra, Alex....why are all people the same?!_

_Cheating, manipulating, betraying, lying, scheming..._

_They're all the same._

_Now I know why I do not trust people._

_I should have known....._

_humans aren't trustworthy._

 

 

Not even when you give them your hearts.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mikasa ships them o-O


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi you guys! Thank you for reading!!  
> This chapter has lots of angst ;A; but it is needed.  
> There are some triggers in this chapter, so I'm warning you!  
> I love you all ^-^ All of your comments make me so happy!  
> Enjoy and please don't massacre me after this~

_Alex_

XXX

Levi practically ran from the diner without a second glance, and it pained me even more.

"What's up with him?" I asked, knowing the answer.

Hangi shrugged. "I dunno. He's always so dramatic about random things."

I placed my face in my hands.

I screwed up again.

I broke Armin's heart and now I broke Levi's.

I tried to ignore the fluttering in my chest after realizing that Levi became upset after hearing about Eren and I dating.

God, I was such a sadistic person. 

Why did I always cause everyone so much pain with my existence?

XXX

I stood in the cemetery, the wind fluttering and whipping my hair in my eyes. I stared at the two headstones, and crumpled in between them as tears sprung to my eyes. I sobbed and choked, crying in my mother's and grandma's lap like I was still a child.

"Forgive me!" I wailed as I pounded the ground with my fist.

I stayed like that for a while, lying on top of the two graves, thoughts whirling in my mind.

'What is the obvious solution to this problem?' The wind whispered in my ear.

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand and shook my head.

I wish it didn't have to be this way.

But to fix two hearts, you needed to sacrifice one.

I had to break Eren's heart.

XXX

Levi

It's been three days, and I haven't moved an inch. Most of my tears and blood got soaked up into my shirt so now I was only slightly damp. I haven't had any reason to get up from my weak position on the floor, so I just stayed where I was.

I was in the middle of drifting into consciousness when I heard a loud knocking on the door. I groaned and shut my eyes, willing for the unwanted visitor to go away.

"Levi?!"

I groaned again. "Go away Hangi!" I managed to choke out.

"Levi?" She yelled again.

I decided not to answer but I heard a click and the sound of the door opening.

I sat up quickly, rubbing my damp eyes. "What the fuck? How the hell did you get in here?!"

Hangi stood in the doorway and held up a key. "You need to pay more attention to your keys."

"Why the hell would you copy it?" I moaned.

She raked her eyes over my body and clicked her tongue. "For occasions like these."

Hangi knelt besides me and grabbed at my shirt, sniffing it.

"Oi!" I protested.

"Is this urine? Did you pee yourself?" She asked.

My face flushed as I shook my head. "N-No! I spilled water and slipped!"

Hangi raised her eyebrow and whispered quietly, "You're lying. These are tears. I can smell the salt."

My eyes widened and Hangi stood up. "Don't cry about things like Eren and Alex, Levi. I don't know what you went through before this past year, but it doesn't have to be this way." She smiled sadly and made her way to the door.

Before she left she turned around and spoke loudly, "You should fight for what you want."

Then under her breath she muttered, "The Levi _I_ know wouldn't give up."

The door closed softly and I was staring at the place Hangi had been standing.

_But how could I fight for a guy who is already taken?_

_I want him, I really do..._

_But I'm not the one who makes him smile._

XXX

_Alex_

"Blah blah blah blah..."

I tapped my pencil against the desk in a nervous tick, trying not to vomit all over my desk. I glanced at the clock and gulped.

_Only 12 more seconds_

I was trying to pay attention, I really was, but all of the teacher's words were churning inside of my brain and mushing into something incomprehensible.

The bell rang and I gagged.

I slowly gathered all of my things and took my time at my locker.

I was dreading having to do this.

I was going to break up with Eren.

I exited the school and was immediately pulled through some shrubbery by the wrist until we were behind the school.

"Hey."

Eren's turquoise eyes shone and it hurt my heart even more while I looked at them.

"Why did you take me here Eren? I need to get home." I said, my voice dull. I bet my eye were too from the lack of sleep last night.

"I thought we could have some time alone. Mikasa and Armin are staying behind in detention so we have some time to ourselves." He explained, taking my hand in his and swinging it along with his words.

"What did they do?" I asked.

"They made some lab equipment explode." Eren chuckled.

I laughed half-heartedly.

God, I missed Eren, Mikasa, and Armin.

I missed the times when things weren't complicated between the three of us.

There was silence between the Eren and, so I took the moment to stare at the sky and beyond, muttering under my breath,"Mom, help me."

I turned my attention back to Eren. "Eren, there's something I need to tell you." I whispered, the happy face in front of me turning concerned.

"What is it Alex?"

I stared at the ground. "I don't think I feel the same way as you." I lifted my eyes to see Eren staring at me with a twitch in his eye.

"What do you _mean_?" His voice stretched.

I shook my head sadly. "Eren, I think...we should just stay friends."

He hung his head and his shaggy brown hair covered the emotion in his eyes. He started shaking and I whispered, "Eren?"

I decided to take a different approach. "You know..." I sighed and continued. "Armin would love it if you dated him."

He clenched his fist and muttered, " _Bullshit_."

"Eren?" I placed my hand on his shoulder but he smacked my hand, the sudden pain making my eyes widen.

I leaned on the school's wall for support as I nursed my hand against my chest. "Eren!"

He turned to face me, his turquoise eyes spilling it's ocean.

"Friends," He spat. "Bullshit!"

The sky darkened and rain began to fall, masking the furious boy in front of me.

Eren turned to run away, and once he disappeared I collapsed on the ground in agony.

_This had all gone so wrong._

Now Eren hated me for hurting him.

But he didn't know how much I was hurting inside,too.

I sobbed as the rain dampened my clothes, mourning the loss of my best friend.

The thunder ricocheted in the place my unbroken heart used to be, and I wheezed, biting my lip to prevent my sobs from being heard.

Instead my teeth scraped against it repeatedly, making blood gush from the open wounds of failure.

I held onto the ridges of the brick wall as I tried to stand up and laughed softly to myself when I couldn't. "This is what I deserve. I'm a monster. I don't deserve to be held when I'm afraid, or at all. I deserve to be alone the rest of my life."

I looked up to the gray sky and laughed again, my sanity reaching its end. 

_"I deserve to be lying here in the rain! I deserve this pain. I deserve to be dying inside! I deserve to be dead! I deserve it all!"_

I rested my head against the moist ground and cried, my sobs unheard through the ruckus of the sky.

XXX

_Levi_

"C'mon!"

I crossed my arms across my chest. "No."

Hangi had convinced me with her meaningful words to get up from the floor and go to school the next morning. When she saw me she was so giddy and happy that she actually made a change in my small, bleak life.

Now it was after school and I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

Hangi tugged on my arm and jumped up and down. "Please! I need help!"

I rolled my eyes,"Watching a fucking movie in French won't help you with your French exam tomorrow."

"Yes it will!" Hangi whined. "Please, pretty please! We don't even have to watch the movie! You can just help me study! You're really good at French! You have straight A's!!!"

I sighed and pressed my hand against my forehead. "Do you want to know why I have straight A's?" I asked.

Hangi's eyes widened. "Yes!"

I smirked."Because I don't spend many hours on end talking and reading about Eotens."

It wasn't exactly the truth, but it wasn't entirely a lie either.

Hangi smacked my arm with a scowl, but underneath I could tell there was a hidden smile. "Goddammit Levi!"

I laughed and in turn she did too.

Suddenly the sky turned from it's bright blue into a stony gray, in turn leaking its contents with a clap of thunder.

I tried to ignore the thought of wanting to know where Alex was during this storm.

But then I remembered that he had Eren to hold him and I wasn't needed anymore.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a person running.

I turned away and recognized the person as Eren.

He didn't seem like himself, his face was hiding underneath his disheveled hair.

A thought came to my mind:

_If Eren is here, then where is Alex...?_

"What is Eren doing?" I asked, pointing out the boy.

Hangi raised her eyebrow and made a sound that sounded like a "Hmph."

I spun around, "What?"

Her brown eyes met mine and I knew she would be saying something I wouldn't like. "I saw him go behind the school with Alex. This looks peculiar."

My eyes widened and then dropped to the ground.

_Was he running to find him?_

Or....

_Was he running **from** him? _

"I'm going to look for Alex." I declared and Hangi patted my shoulder. "That's the spirit Levi!"

I nodded and left Hangi and made my way to the back of the school.

_Thoughts ran aimlessly through my mind:_

_Why am I doing this?_

_Alex doesn't care for me. He's with Eren._

_Why am I even trying?_

I finally made my way to where I suspected Eren and Alex had been and found a huddled figure on the ground.

I knelt besides the person and asked, "Alex?"

The person raised its face to mine as the lighting flashed and my eyes widened.

His face was covered in mud from lying in the mud. Blood was dripping down his lips in a constant stream, and it covered his chin and his dirty clothes. His eyes were shining bright emeralds, but it seemed so unnatural. He smiled and laughed at the sight of me in tune with the thunder.

"Alex?" I breathed.

_What the **hell** was wrong with him?_

He just laughed again, his cackles filling the schoolyard.

"What's wrong with you?!" I yelled.

Lighting flashed and it only made his eyes shine brighter.

_Was this why Eren had run away?_

"Aren't you supposed to be afraid of this?" I pointed to the sky and Alex just smirked.

He tried standing up, but ultimately failing as he crashed back down on his bottom.

I took his hand and helped him up, a static forming when we touched.

Alex turned away and started walking away from me, occasionally stumbling. It looked as if he was sleepwalking, his haunted eyes staring at nothing and his movements jagged.

"Hey! Where are you going?" I yelled.

He ignored me and continued to walk to what I assumed was the direction of his home.

I followed him yelling,"It isn't safe for you to be walking around like this!"

I followed him in silence, watching his every movement. 

When we reached his home, he walked in, leaving the door open as if he didn't care if I came in with him.

He walked down the hallway to his room and entered it, slamming the door behind him and locking it.

I stood outside the door, rethinking the memories of us in this room when a storm like this one was going on.

"Alex!!" I pounded on the door.

A screech pierced the air along with a crash and I froze.

"Alex!!" I shouted, scenarios flooding my mind and making my much needed fast movements turn slow, as if I was moving through water.

The loud noises and screams continued and I tried to break down the door by shoving it with my shoulder, but it wouldn't budge.

Tears sprung to my eyes in frustration and I almost collapsed in front of the door

I pleaded, "Let me _in_ , goddammit!!!"  


There were more screams and loud crashes when the door finally relented and opened.

I almost passed out at the sight of wood and blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry ;A;  
> Alex goes insane   
> whoops  
> Guess what happens~~


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I have been really busy lately. I honestly didn't think I was going to continue, but here. Next chapter is the last definitely.

Alex

I slammed the door and locked it, making sure Levi didn't follow me in the only place I found comfort. I strutted to the dresser at the other side of the room. I opened the first drawer and threw all of its contents out. When I finally cleared the drawer I stared at the only thing at the bottom, the thing I had tried to hide after so long.

It was a picture of me and my mother, and my eyes teared as I picked it up. I ran my finger along my mother's face, my eyebrows furrowing. "Why did you betray me mother? I trusted you to help me, and now look at what I am!" I yelled.

I screamed as I pounded the wood against the tile, my screams becoming lost in my mind and shrapnel flew everywhere. I heard Levi banging on the door, screaming my name, but I could only ignore him.   
Blood flew from my hands and splattered across the walls and floor. I cried, the sounds of my life being destroyed along with the picture frame echoing around my heart. 

I fell to the ground, sobbing in controllably in the pile of woods that was once my only solace.

The door opened with a creak and I turned away as I heard Levi's breath being sucked in.

I didn't want him to see my like this, so broken, full of despair.

I felt himself kneel besides me and I closed my eyes as tears escaped. I curled myself into a ball and tried to forget it all: this life, what I had done, and who I really was.

A murderer.

"Alex, hey, it's okay." Levi smoothed my hair down and I smacked his hand away. 

"Don't touch me." I trembled. I opened my eyes and found Levi's were wide open with shock. "I don't deserve it." 

I turned around and hugged my knees to my chest.

Levi was persistent and stepped over all of the wood to sit in front of me again.  
"I hate to see you this way." He said as he sat down in front of me, his eyes showing so much pain that I almost believed him.

"Why aren't you running away?" I shook, my fists clenching. 

How dare he act like this was any normal situation!

Soon I was yelling, "Why aren't you! I killed my mother and grandma! I broke Eren's heart. The people I cared about most have gone away! Why aren't you running?!" 

I closed my eyes and shook my head, "Run before I hurt you again."

I felt a hand being placed on my cheek. I opened my eyes in time to see Levi leaning forward. 

His lips met mine and I choked out a gasp.

I tried to resist him but he wrapped his hands around my wrists to prevent me from moving. When he finally broke away I started to sob. "Why...?"

"Alex," Levi sighed. "You didn't kill your family. Don't blame all of this on yourself. I won't run from you, because I love you." 

I lifted my eyes to him and found he was smiling.

I gritted my teeth and placed my hands on my face.

"Why?!" I yelled. "Why do you say that? Why do you love me! I don't deserve you! I don't deserve anybody! I'm a mess! I'm broken! I'm unfixable!"

Levi's growl surprised me. "Stop acting like you're the only one broken here!"

I removed my hands from my face to see Levi's hair hanging in front of his face and that he was shaking.

"I've been through a lot. I'm broken, also. I've been cheated on, I've been abandoned." He lifted his eyes and the tears filling them almost made me wail. "But I still go on every day, even though the pain may be unbearable."

I stood up and wrapped my arms around Levi, my tears staining his shirt. "I'm so sorry, I didn't know." 

He wrapped his arms around me and I clung to him. 

Levi muttered, "Maybe two broken people can form a whole."

I smiles as I looked up at him, his eyes now shining in joy. "That would be great."

But then I remembered Eren.

"I broke Eren's heart today, and now I'm pretty sure he hates me." I muttered. 

"Why did you break things off with him?" Levi asked.

"Because...I knew I had feelings for you and that Armin had feelings for him. I thought things would be better if we went with different people." I replied.

Levi grunted, "I think that's a good enough excuse. But Eren is a stubborn asshole who left you alone in a storm, right?"

I let my eyes trail form his blue orbs. "Well I did make him upset..."

"But that's no reason for him to do that to you! Especially since he knew about your fear." Levi retorted.

I shrugged and just leaned into Levi's chest, his arms encircling means making me feel fixed.

Maybe we can make this work, maybe we can survive this cruel world together.

Then suddenly a thought came to my mind.

"Levi?" I asked. "How am I going to tell Eren and the others that we're together?"

"Just tell them."

"But how am I going to tell him I dumped him for you?" I blurted.

"Just tell him. And if he's an asshole about it then I'll just kick his ass." 

I laughed and burrowed myself deeper into his arms.

XXX

Later that night

Levi and I were chilling on the couch and were watching the T.V. when my phone rang.  
We had managed to clean up the mess I had made and afterwards, I took a shower and we just did nothing for the remainder of the day.

Until right now.

I shook as I read the caller ID.  
"Levi, it's Eren."

"Answer it."

I nodded and gulped. I answered it and asked, "Hello?"

"Alex."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Eren."

"Look, I'm sorry."

"Eren, there's something you need to know." I bit my lip.

"What is it?" His voice quivered on the other line.

"I-I broke up with you, because...." I cringed as I said the following words. "I have feelings for Levi."

I heard him sputter over the other line. "W-What?"  
"I'm sorry Eren. Please you're my best friend!" A tear slipped down my cheek as I shook my head. "Don't leave me again!"  
"Alex, you were my best friend." Eren then whispered something that almost made me drop the phone. "I can't look at you the same way again."

I slammed the phone on the table and put my face in my hands.

You've got to be fucking kidding me.  
XXX

I showed up to school the next day with red eyes. I hoped Eren noticed them, because they were all because of him.

I couldn't help but notice that his were red also, so I started feeling bad.

Lunch was awkward; nobody talked. I could feel Eren avoiding my gaze and Mikasa giving me one full of death wishes. I couldn't blame her; I would hate the person who broke my brother's heart, too.

And Armin, poor sweet Armin, was stuck in the middle of it.

This went on for a few days, until we were approached by Marco at our lunch table  
.  
When I felt the tap on my shoulder I nearly bit the person's head off, snapping "What?!"

Marco had taken a step back, looking nervous as he rubbed the back of his head.   
I sighed, "I'm sorry, Marco. I've been on edge lately."  
“It’s fine.” He chuckled lightly. “I was just wondering if you guys were free next Friday night.”  
“Huh? Why?” I asked.  
“Well, Jean and I are throwing another party, and we were wondering if you wanted to come.” Marco shrugged. “Well, me mostly.”  
I thought about it. Maybe this would be a good way to make things up with Eren and the others. “Sure.” I smiled. “I would love to go.”  
The others were bewildered but accepted the invitation also. I nearly pumped my fist in the air.   
I was going to fix our friendship, even if I had to force myself into their lives again.


End file.
